I have been feeling a little out of it these few couple of days. I hardly ever sleep, I pretty much starve myself, I overthink everything, I've been trying to change my body to what I want to look like. I deprive myself from alot of things that would benefit me, but I simply push them away. I have been more anti social than usual. I hardly speak to my family, I don't keep in touch with any friends or aquatinces. I feel trapped in place of mindlessness. I don't care of anything around me, I ignore all the bad things thrown at me. I hate the outside world more than anything, at first I used the excuse of hating the sun because it burned my skin which I hated. But deep down I knew I just hated facing reality, I hated having to be a part of something that I knew I'm not worth. Not that I consider myself less than anyone. I'm simply an outcast, a vast soul, a mindless zombie, just a stray. No one understands me as much as I wish people would. But I wouldn't push it too much because as crazy as it seems I kind of feel happy like this.
