2 months had passed by and the conversation that had taken place between Alex and Laila was buried away. She was summoning the courage to wake up for Fajr and trying to shake off her sleep. She lay on the bed and said her supplications for waking up and thanked Allah that she could see another day. She then lay there for a small amount of time in deep thought. They were both suppressing their emotions away which was not healthy for either of them. Alex was distant and curt with her, he would only come home, eat and sleep. She would try to stay awake on the couch for him only to fall asleep. Every passing moment she felt herself sinking into sadness. She really thought she could be a good wife. But she didn't feel adequate enough, she couldn't take away his pain but she wanted to share it with him. Anything she did, didn't feel like enough, and it didn't seem good enough for him. Recently he had got into the habit of comparing Laila to his mother. 'That's not the way I want it' or 'that's not the way my mother does it' would be phrases she heard throughout the week. She was afraid that she was sinking into a loveless marriage and she was trapped. But what was that voice within her that would always ring out to not lose hope? Something was keeping her going but she couldn't put her finger on it. Every moment that passed kept telling her to be patient and hang onto this marriage to not let it deteriorate. It was easier said than done when your husband wasn't trying at all. She could feel his head buried in the back of her neck and his arm draped across her small waist. She gently shrugged him off and got ready to pray.
He was finding it hard to share his space with his wife. He had never opened up to anyone and neither had he shared a part of himself. It already felt as if Laila was coming to close to his heart and he had vowed he would never let a woman close to him. His actions had serious repercussions and he knew this. By being distant with his wife he was only pushing a wedge between them. But he didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to express his feeling to her. He was to afraid to speak out in the open but the nights when he would find her on the couch having fallen asleep after waiting for him would tear him inside. In the dark when she wasn't watching he could show how he really felt. Hours would pass by and his eyes would be fixated on her sleeping form, her gently breathing and the rise and fall of her chest. He would hold her close to him his heart beat rapidly accelerating and bury his head in her neck. He felt safe and strangely relaxed here but he just wasn't ready to show this to her in the open. In fact if he was honest with himself he was afraid to want to expose his heart lest it got broken.
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For the weekend Alex's father was having a charity event in his huge mansion. Alex and Laila had to attend as it was important to his father and mother. On the Friday evening after Alex finished work he had a quick power nap and shower before getting ready for the long drive. They sat in the car in silence for a while.
'Soo...'She asked 'how long did it take you to get used to those long twelve hour shifts?'
'Erm' he thought, then gently coughed 'I guess you get used to it. It's all about the power naps, exercise and taking care of yourself.' He grinned back.
Laila blushed slightly as she imagined Alex in the early mornings, coming home after a run, sweaty and shirtless as he got ready for his shower. She shifted slightly, hot prickly feeling all over her body making her feel uncomfortable. It was a moments silence before Alex spoke.
'Laila?' He asked
'Yes' she replied hesitantly.
He paused thinking about what to say. This couldn't come out wrong. This felt like a touchy subject and could go horribly wrong if not approached properly.
'Well...what are you plans for life? What do you want to do in general?' He asked
She sighed in relief. She was bursting with happiness inside, so glad that he had asked this of her. For a while she had been thinking this but had no idea as to how she should approach the situation.
