Dating Alys Perez (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I was there, standing with my mouth hanging open.

Too in loved with him?

"W-what?" That was everything I managed to say.

Shit, Alys. Pull yourself together. 

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Hindi ka iiyak, okay? Kahit isang luha, please, 'wag. Bwisit ka, Drake! I have tortured myself into thinking na kung anumang reason ang meron ka kaya mo ako iniwan noon, it was all worth it.

Worth every pain, every tears, every slap on the face whenever I think that I'm one lacking woman kaya mo ako iniwan.

...and then this. You gave me a crap of a reason. Gee, thanks!

He wasn't giving away anything. I looked at his face. He's still Drake. That freaking Drake that always drives me insane whenever. Hindi ko malaman kung ano ang nasa isip niya, kung ano ang nararamdaman niya.

He's like a freaking puzzle na hindi ko kayang i-figure out! I've tried everything, alam ko! One year. We almost lasted for a year and I swear I've been nothing but good to him. 

'Alys, okay lang yan. Tahimik talaga si Drake, e.'Wag mo ng masyadong dibdibin kapag hindi ka niya kinakausap.'

For years, I've convinced myself na ganyan ka lang talaga, na kahit sobrang sama mo in your exterior, inside, you care for me. Pero ano? You're a freaking downer! Sayang, e! Sayang yung isang taon na pinaghintay ko sa'yo... Sorry pero pwedeng magmura? Tangina... sayang.

"Iyon lang 'yun?" I stuttered.

He nodded and continued, "You can't handle being in love with me and actually living your life, Alys."

"Ha... ha... ha."

Mukha na akong tanga, natatawa ako. You did it again, Drake! For two years, nakumbinsi ko yung sarili ko na hindi na ako mabibigla in case na malaman ko kung ano nga talaga. Naisip ko na lang ng possibility! Na baka dahil kay Tripp kasi ayaw mo na mag-away kayo, or baka naman bumalik si Shaira o baka naman dahil nga kay Cristine! Matatanggap ko naman kung ang dahilan ay dahil sa'yo kasi alam mo, Drake? Selfish ka. 

"Yun na yun?"

He looked at me and nodded, once again.

"Walang complicated shit? Walang masakit sa ulo na reason? Walang nakakapang dudang excuse? Yun lang? Just plain 'I can't handle being in love and living a life' crap? Yun lang?"

Hindi siya lumapit sa akin. He kept his distance.

Those eyes... F-uck there he goes again.

"It's not just that, Alys. I broke up because you're like a ticking bomb. Can't you see, you're throwing your life for me." His voice was raising a bit.

Not once. Not once ko pang nakitang magalit si Drake. He's always calm, always composed, always ahead of me. I can't read him, I can't understand him. 

I pursed my lips. "You don't get to decide what's good for me."

"At that time, I could. I was your boyfriend when I decided that I wasn't worth all the shit your pulling," he said, still freaking calm!

"I wasn't pulling shits, damn you! Ano na naman ba 'to? Tungkol na naman sa pag-aaral ko?! Hindi ako matalino, Mr. Genius! Akala mo ba tatalino ako over night dahil iniwan mo ako? Hindi! I dropped out! Alam mo yun, Drake? Alam mo kung ano yung ginawa mo sa akin?" I stopped and took a deep breath. 

Eto na naman, Alys. 

"Boyfriend kita... Ikaw sana yung dapat na nageencourage sa akin na mag-aral. Nasa ibang bansa ako, I barely knew anyone. Shit I've never felt so alone, dun lang. Kahit saan ako lumingon, wala akong kakilala, wala akong makausap. I felt so lonely, Drake... ang hirap hirap...