Dating Alys Perez (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Ayoko na. 

I was left there with my mind bleeding. Lose him forever? Hindi pa ba yun ang nangyari nung iwan niya ako dati? Ano ba yung dati? Lose him temporarily and then have him once again the moment I got my life back? Ano ako? Laruan lang na kukunin once na maayos na? Hindi ba ako tao? Wala ba akong feelings na nasasaktan?

Umupo ako sa harap ng sasakyan ko at tahimik na umiyak. Damn. Ganito na lang ba palagi? Iiyak na lang ng iiyak?

Hinihintay kong umalis si Drake pero nandyan pa rin siya. Hanggang pag-iyak ba naman hindi niya ako titigilan?!

I walked up to him and knocked on his window. "Leave me alone."

"Go in your car. It's dark already."

"Wag mo nga akong pakielaman! Hindi mo ako girlfriend, okay?! Wala kang responsibility sa akin!"

He nodded and then ignited his car. "Fine, Alys. Push me away until I really give up."

And then really, he left me. And damn, I think it's for good.

Napaupo na lang ako at umiyak ng umiyak. All those people staring at me like I'm crazy. Yes, I think I'm going crazy. I freaking received two proposals in a day! And I don't think kaya kong sumagot sa kanilang dalawa! Damn they wanna marry me for all the wrong reasons. Ano ba ako sa kanilang dalawa? Prize sa laro nila na pataasan ng pride?

"Damn this life," I said habang naglalakad pabalik sa sasakyan ko. 

Dumiretso ako sa bahay at hindi ko kinausap kahit sino. It's been a long day. Gusto ko na lang matulog at kalimutan lahat. Sobrang sakit na ng nararamdaman ko...

Hindi ko naman ginusto ang lahat ng 'to. God knows I just want to be happy. I want me to be happy, I want Tripp to be happy, and I certainly want Drake to be happy... pero bakit parang ang hirap hirap naman abutin ng gusto ko? Is it that impossible to be happy without the expense of hurting anyone? Sobrang far fetched na ba ng pangarap ko?

I stared at the ceiling, wondering why my life has been like this. Has been... this wrecked. 

Maybe because I've been damn too selfish. Tama naman si Drake, puro ako na lang yung iniisip ko. Pero masisisi niya ba ako? He hurt me too much! Too damn much that I can't even bear thinking about his pain because my own pain was too much for me to handle. 'Yung sakit na binigay niya sa akin sobra pa sa sobra... hindi ko na yata kakayanin kung iisipin ko pa yung nararamdaman niya.

And Tripp... God, Tripp! I've given you my time and devotion. Kulang pa ba yung dalawang taon? I've been nursing this relationship pero ikaw, hindi ka pa rin kuntento. Can't you see how much I've given? Two years, Tripp. Two years 'yun hindi lang dalawang araw. 

I was in the middle of crying when my Mom entered my room.

"Alys!" she said the moment she saw my tear-stained face. She came near me and enveloped me in a hug. I cried in her arms. Ayoko na, Mommy... Ang hirap hirap na... Sobrang sakit na... "Oh, my baby..." she said as she cooed me.

"Mom... ang sakit sakit na..."

"Ssh, baby. Everything will  be fine, all right?"

How I wish, mommy. Sana in a snap of a finger, maging okay na ang lahat. Sana maging okay na kami kasi damn, sobrang hirap ng ganito. Para kaming naglalaro kahit na alam namin na sa huli, may isa pa rin na matatalo. We're staking our all, our everything. 

She hugged me and whispered comforting words. I wish I could just stay here and be with my mom. I don't want to go outside and face the world. Call me coward but it just hurt damn too much. I care for them both... and seeing them do this to me hurts me way more.