NYSM •Moments In Time•

Moment #5

He doesn't know what in his right mind made him panic so suddenly and make him forget how to breathe. His brain just sets into a mode where it doesn't think, so therefore he forgets how to let air enter his lungs. He grabs a hold of his desk drawer in order to stop his fall, but it's too late as he goes crashing down onto the floor, gaping like a fish in need of his source of oxygen.

Daniel used to have anxiety attacks a lot as a kid, and who usually helped him was his father, a military man who had enough of his own PTSD to know what his son was going through. Despite his father taking long tours and not being able to be there for him, his teachings on how Danny could calm himself during an attack still remained. And after he died, the only thing he ever had left of the man was his words,

"Find someone to breathe with you. Listen to their heartbeat, mirror the sounds and rhythm of their own air. Feel their warmth surround you, and of course, don't ever let go. You're a strong kid, Danny boy. But you love control, and that won't help you when you're in a situation like an anxiety attack. Find someone who has control at that moment, who can see the signs before they even happen, who can read between the lines of your pain and suffering. And breathe with them."

Yeah. That's a lot of words for a ten year old to remember, but those were the only words that somehow were able to stick in Danny's brain. But, despite all that, his brain wasn't working right therefore he threw out his father's warning and suffered alone, in his room.

He anxiety attack gets worse when he suddenly realizes that he's not even in control of his own body and that realization drags him under, making him freak him out even more and he'll even cry, letting the warm tears be the only warmth and comfort he needs. He pulls on his locks of hair, threatening to rip it all out so he would feel pain there and not in his chest. Right now, he'll do anything to numb the pain.

As he tries to breathe again, he sees his vision dim, and the panic sets in when he realizes he's actually suffocating. He didn't pause to think that he could just be losing consciousness, but skips to the end where he thinks he might be dying.

He calls out for help, only to discover his voice is gone along with his breathing. His lungs squeeze close together in a painful, gut wrenching way as he curls onto his back, writhing around on the floor like someone having a seizure. The tears sting his eyes as he begs for any god out there to let him live, to let him get through with this. And if that doesn't work, he inwardly begs to make it quick, so he could stop suffering.

"-nny! Danny-! Come on, Atlas!"

Finally, God was here to take him. Save him, please, save him.

"-ave him. Oh dear god, please save him!"

The voice keeps going in and out as his vision goes with it. In and out of consciousness he went, hearing the voice in the few moments he knows he's alive.

"Daniel, listen to the flow of my words. Hear how they are now calm, and relaxed. Feel how they vibrate against my chest."

He feels someone take his wrist in their hand and press it up against their broad chest, and yes, he feels their words vibrate as the voice continues,

"Feel my heartbeat, and try to copy it. Know that you're safe, and with me. Feel the rush of blood run through me and try to picture the calmness rushing through you, too."

Danny finally realizes it was Merritt's voice speaking to him, not God's. A mentalist...in control. His father's words come rushing back to him as Daniel discovers that his brain is working again. He remembers how to move, so he twitches his finger in response to Merritt,

"That's it, Danny boy."

Danny boy.

He eyes shot open and he clings onto the first thing he sees, as in Merritt's shirt, and gasps for air, barely able to talk as he begs for someone to save him.

"Daniel. Daniel. Danny! Listen to me. You're fine. You're safe. Breathe with me."

Merritt takes in a deep breath that lasts a few moments, before holding it and slowly letting it back out. He does this routine until Daniel is trying to copy and do it with him.

Soon, the bedroom is silent and it's just Merritt and Danny, both sitting on the floor as the control freak finally gets a hold of his breathing, and now tries not to cry in relief. Merritt squeezes the smaller man close to him and holds him, surrounding him in his warmth.

"You're okay...you're okay..."

His hand is up in Danny's hair, soothing him and letting him lean on his shoulder. Merritt's heart was racing as Danny observed while leaning against his chest. Merritt had been silently thanking for whoever saved Danny, remembering as he entered the room about twenty minutes ago to see him on the floor. The mentalist had begged for a god he didn't believe in to save him, praying that he would be okay.

As the scary moment passes, Merritt offers Danny help from him to sleep.

"A little bit of hypnotism will make your eyes heavy and then you'll take a long nap. By then, you'll regain composure."

Danny just shakes his head, "Just...stay here. Please."

The word felt weak in Daniel's voice, and it gives Merritt everything not to make a comment on it. He was honestly shocked that Daniel has allowed him to be in this close proximity to him, and decides not to waste it. He sat there, holding the younger man for what felt like hours, and the silence wasn't awkward, but comforting. Those two men are the ones out of all the Horsemen to have difficulty showing enough passion and PDA to their lovers, and this quiet embrace is all the two needed from each other.

Danny thought Merritt was going to respect his privacy and avoid telling the others for his sake. But it was far from that, since the next morning Henley had him wrapped up in her arms as she comforted him even way after the storm was over. She forced him to tell her everything while Jack and Logan just sat and listened. They were more patient with him than Henley.

Jack offered his shoulder for Danny whenever he needed someone to rant with at any given time, and Logan admits she has small episodes once in awhile, too, but she was better at hiding it. She was in control of it and her moments aren't as extreme and dangerous like Danny's.

Upon knowing about Daniel's anxiety, she had secretly panicked and had asked Merritt what to do if she ever caught Danny having an attack. But other than that, Danny took his father's words for it and was able to control himself when the others were around. He would never have another attack in a very long time.