That Night

Part Five: Dan

"I never stopped loving you.."

Phil moved Dan's head so they saw eye to eye. The force was exponentially stronger. Phil was stronger. This surprised him since neither of them went out of the house much for anything. Phil was staring into Dan's eyes. The tension built up in only a moment. He smiled. And spoke,

"Neither did I.."

The feelings were mutual. Phil couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed Dan by the biceps and pulled him closer filling the gap between them with his lips against Dans. Dan was shocked at first, but then accepted the feelings and kissed him back knowing it wouldn't anger him. But Phil pulled away and screamed. Dan was confused. He apologized in barely a whisper and ran away into the woods, disappearing into the night.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Dan's feet hit the ground with existential force as he ran away from the Church. And Phil. He ran without any knowledge of where he was actually going. He just ran. He wanted to get away from everything that just happened. He ran through the woods. Waving his arms about as to protect his face from the branches from the trees that surrounded him as he ran. Tears streamed down his face and stung his scrapes from the branches scraping his face.

He didn't care about anything anymore. He didn't care about where he was. Or if he would die. He didn't care about his suit. He didn't care about Phil. He didn't care about Sam. He didn't care about anything. He had been through too much. He had wanted to be with Phil. But not anymore. He was dead to him. Even himself. He was dead inside. Fully hollowed out. Nothing left. Not even a dark heart. It had been smashed and turned to gold. But even the gold couldn't handle the diamond bat of despair and the bullets from the gun of heartbreak. It was over. Nothing was left. Nothing. No reason to care. Life had just become one big existential crisis.

***

The rain began to slow. And the moon began to rise. Shining a glowing light that cast shadows from Dan's tall, dark figure. The street lights were just now coming on. Dan looked down at the ground. Hunched ever so slightly but just enough to appear as if something was wrong. But if you didn't know him, he would appear if had just had a long day at work and was tired and walking home alone in the dark. Well, it would seem rather bad from any perspective. But Dan didn't care. All he wanted was to go home, lock the doors, curl up in a ball and die under the covers of his bed.

He started walking to the apartment. The streets didn't look all that familiar but he felt it was right to go the path he was treading. He found the building. He walked up to the door and grabbed the keys from his back pocket. The first one he tried wouldn't work. He tried every key on the keychain. And the last one he tried worked. He walked in and was greeted by the familiar sights and sounds. The clock was ticking. The door was creaking. There was a light emitting from the top of the stairs. Dan's eyes were blurry from crying and from the rain and tree branches. He walked up the stairs. And when he got to the second one, he slipped and fell down the stairs, landing on his back. Then, darkness..

Dan awoke on a still bed. It was uncomfortable and papery. The sheets felt like paper on his skin. And the blanket felt like a towel. And the pillow felt like a bunch of dryer sheets folded up and stitched between two bigger dryer sheets. There was only one comfort : the nightdress he was wearing. There was a tube of oxygen flowing into his nose and there were lights on. He needed to fix his fringe. He felt to fix it, but it seemed as if someone had been keeping it out of his eyes. He was hallucinating so many things. He was seeking floating people and talking paintings and a terrible ringing in his ears. He also saw a talking notepad saying that he should be more creative. It was very overwhelming. He fell asleep once again.

A hand. In his. A voice. Speaking to him. Asking him to wake up. Asking him to forgive whoever was talking. Saying that they were so so sorry and that they never intended this. It was a man. Dan opened his eyes. He was awake now. And immediately he recognized who it was that was talking. His piercing blue eyes were unmistakable. And the black hair perfectly combed to the left of his sorrow filled face. He was crying. Phil never cried. Not even at TFIOS. But, he was crying, for Dan...? He couldn't believe it. Phil looked up at Dan. His blue eyes were filled with tears. He smiled. Tears ran down his face. Dan wiped them away. He didn't like seeing Phil like this. Phil moved Dan's hair out of his eyes.. The tension was building. Dan was the first to break the silence. The deafening silence that could have pierced through anyone making them feel uneasy. Dan's words were a little slurred as he was still on the drugs given to him to kill the pain.

"Hi."

"My name is," Phil started with a smirk
"[Dan.]"

Dan rolled his eyes covering his face with his hands. Phil chuckled to himself, glad that he had made Dan laugh. His smile quickly faded.

"I'm so sorry.." He said. It was barely a whisper. Dan barely heard Phil's apology. He didn't know what he was apologizing for, though..

"For just leaving you. For getting mad at you. And forcing you to leave. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to drive you to this."

Dan looked up at Phil. Smiled. And he said one last thing before he faded out,

"I love you, so much..."