Your Guardian Angel- A RusCan fanfic

6

BIG THANKS TO
deamiel
And
CoolKookie
For all the amazing comments and votes and words of encouragement! Thank you both!
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Matthew's tendency of talking to things that weren't truly there continued for days to come, and boy, how did it wear him out.

It wasn't that he was upset about that though. He was more than unhappy with the mere thought that he wouldn't be ready to handle whatever were to rush at Ivan, and he knew he wouldn't have been able to if it were too strong.

Even he knew that with Ivan's strength and what he himself was capable of, there was a chance they would be able to defeat the creatures that lurked about after Ivan. Then again, he could've been completely wrong. What if they weren't? Ivan would be an evil being. And Matthew..

He didn't want to think about where he would end up if things ended badly.

On the other hand of things, Ivan was more than worried about Matthew's behavior to the point that a strict rule was in place that the two had to sleep in the same room. It gave Ivan the chance to calm Matthew down if he had an episode during the mornings. And with this change, Matthew calmed down significantly with the comfort of someone else at his side, but not enough to stop the voices from bothering him. 

And even with the other cuddled up beside him during the night, Ivan had trouble falling and staying asleep. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable, oh no. Ivan loved the warmth of the other. It was the thought of something snapping inside of Matthew throughout the night and him not being able to calm him down, keep him quiet. 

This was an occurrence through some nights, and others it was too silent for Ivan to comprehend. They kept and maintained as they were as days went by.

And Ivan was quick to notice when Matthew's condition slowly started to get better. It was tiny things at first. He wouldn't scream, but whisper. He was quick to snap to attention when Ivan would attempt to calm him down, and he wouldn't cry as he would, but instead hug him tight and thank him.  Though it wasn't much, he was glad for the other's decreasing problems. 

Though there was one thing Ivan could not shake away. Matthew had screamed a certain set of words in his sleep, a set of words that were repeated night and night again.

Papa, please stop!

Those words rang through his head so many times that he could not force his mind to think of much else. Ivan had the phrase stack constantly in his brain, and yet he couldn't think of a logical explanation.

Had Matthew's father murdered him?
Or was it someone else that Matthew called papa during his time alive? A heavy sigh sounded through the silence of their home, though he was the only one who gave it attention.

Matthew was lost in his own little world on the couch, a glass of milk at hand, as the boy had come to love such a delicacy. The blond hair of the child having long ago fallen in front of his face, and only occasionally could tiny blows be heard once he had realized his hair was in his way.

The gentle huffs of breath as they inhaled and exhaled was a comfortable type of silence having fallen between the two.

As for Matthew having been going to work with Ivan, his body stayed alert and he seemed fully functional during the walks to and fro, but while they were at the job site, Matthew fell into a zombied state once more.

It was like he was focusing on something so deep in his mind, but didn't express any emotions on the outside.

The things that swam through his mind were those that would deem him vulnerable to those who would try to hurt Ivan, so the guardian had to keep barriers in his mind so they would not be sought out once again from within the minds of evil.

It was not that Matthew intended on looking seemingly dead; he was only trying to make himself a better guardian angel, one that he knew he could be.

One wrong thought could give away locations, conversations, passtimes, any information that could potentially harm Ivan had it been given to the wrong mind.

Matthew was not the suffer silently type. He preferred to show emotions and have others for him to speak to about things that he knew would do no good to be kept bottled inside.

But he couldn't.

And he wouldn't.

Ivan had no clue, and that was what killed Matthew. What if Ivan grew to dislike him for his lack of social outbursts and his inability to do much other than perform basic needs and hug him. Though he couldn't blame Ivan if he were to dislike him.

And the simple words of:

"Matthew, are you okay?"

"Matthew listen to me! You're fine!"

"Please calm down."

"Good night.." and "I love you." were all that he needed to hear throughout the day to make him happy. He didn't express it. Oh, no, that would cause him to lose focus and put the two of them in danger.

To show his appreciation, there was a gentle hand squeeze. And then everything was still.

Everything was silent.

And it left Ivan begging for answers.