troubled (a phanfic)

Chapter five

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! This chapter includes suicidal thoughts/actions and self harm...just warning you lil chickens c:

Dans pov

I watch him leave with tears dribbling down my cheeks.I bet he thinks i didn't hear him but he is wrong. I heard every word.

Every filthy word that branded itself in my brain.

Every foul line forever embedded in my memory.

Why did I expect different of him?
He may look adorable and innocent with his shimmering big eyes and cheerful smile. But all along his charm had just been for show, to put me in a position where I could be hurt even more.
Worthless.
That was a pretty good description of my how I felt right now. Betrayed also perfectly described me. But why? I had so stupidly fallen for his act and trusted him. And all the kindness had been a lie.I knew it was my fault and I was stupid but it still hurt so much.
I know what I have to do now. I can't live like this any longer constantly in pain. I have no reason to live. I have nothing left to live for.

I run.

I search my draws and turn them upside down ignoring the pain in my body from earlier a beating and just searching. I find a sharpener in the bottom of my draw and with trembling fingers I unscrew the blade and look at it. It's so tiny but it can cause so much damage.
I run out into the hall and dive into the bathroom. The light in there is harsh and bright and it burns my eyes. I rip at the bandages Phil had applied to my arms and begin dragging the shiny silver blade across my skin. I feel numb as I wreck my arms beyond repair, slicing away the skin.
I feel dizzy now and the blade slips through my fingers dripping with my own blood.
The last thing I see before everything goes black is Phil's blue eyes staring at me.

Phil's pov

I feel so uneasy. He seemed to be in so much pain when I left him but his face looked like a mask, Hiding a million thoughts and feelings behind. I dither uneasily in the street. What if he is really hurt and I hadn't noticed what if he tried to go down the stairs and falls? My mind is swallowed with panic and I turn round and start running back tripping over my feet as I go. I smash through the door yelling his name. There was no new car outside so I presume that his parents aren't in.
Which means he is home alone.
A wave off panic sweeps over me as I climb the stairs. I burst into his bedroom hoping that maybe he will just be in bed sleeping.
Empty.
I run into his parents room thinking maybe he might be in there.
Empty.
I stop outside the bathroom terrified to enter. I know he is in there.
I don't want to know what's behind the door. I want to turn round and walk away.
I open the door of the bathroom.

--An--are you shitting it? Or is it just me? Just pity me...I have to write the next chapter...I hope it's good I'm really enjoying writing this and at some point THERE WILL BE FLUFF OKAY IT SHALL HAPPEN.
Please comment and vote c:
Other stories: magnets (can be found on my profile) and Phan oneshots (can also be found on my profile
Twitter: @phandomdanosaur
thank you c: -an-