Star Wars Rebels: When Hope Is Lost

Chapter 42: Change

Ezra.

Asleep or awake, he could not escape the voices. Since he had returned, they were there. Always ones that he knew, of dark-siders and Sith alike. Lurking in the corners of his mind, surfacing only to prod and whisper doubts, than disappearing back into the depths of his brain. Maybe they had always been there, and had simply been waiting for the right time to awaken.

Go away.

You cannot hide, a voice whispered. Darth Vader. 

Shut up.

It is your destiny, his father said slyly. 

They were talking about the dark side.

"Be quiet! Go away!" Ezra sat upright and threw his pillow at the door. It slid open just as the pillow launched from his hand, and only good Jedi reflexes allowed Kanan to dodge it.

"Ezra, what's wrong?" Kanan asked, coming over to stand beside his bed.

Ezra looked at the Jedi, bandages all over him. A slight limp in his step. Tired eyes that hadn't slept in a while. Concern filled the green-blue pupils. It was still the same Kanan. But he had changed in little ways.

As they all had. 

As he had. 

"Nothing," the boy said quickly, not wanting to worry his Master even further than he already had. But a quick raise of an eyebrow and crossed arms told him not to fib.

"Alright, alright. There are these voices in my head. They won't leave me alone," Ezra admitted. "They say I can't run or hide from the dark side, that it will consume me, that it's my destiny...."

"It's the aftermath of being with a Sith Lord," Kanan said gently, sitting down beside him. "The voices are a side effect of your encounter with the dark side."

"Can I get them to leave me alone?" Ezra pleaded.

"You have to defeat them," Kanan said, putting a hand on his apprentice's shoulder, trying to comfort him. "By proving that you're not what they say you are. Then, they'll leave you alone for good." 

"Am I?" Ezra asked him timidly. "Am I a Sith?" 

Kanan was already shaking his head, as though he had expected the question. "No. You are a rebel, a freedom fighter. You are a Jedi, a justice seeker. You are a part of things bigger than you are, both in the Force and in this war. You are a part of my crew, of our family. You are someone who can be trusted, someone to believe in, someone with hope. But most of all, Ezra, you are a light-sider, not a Sith. You are good, not evil. And that, is the most important thing of all."

The teen was silent, deep in thought, pondering. Ezra suddenly turned and hugged the older Jedi. "Thank you, Kanan."

"Anytime, bud." Kanan replied, hugging his Padawan back. He smiled, though the gesture went unnoticed by Ezra. "Anytime."

*****************************

Ezra, Dev, and Kanan stood outside, on a small moon's surface. The fleet had landed there two days after Kanan's decision was announced. There, on a tiny moon in the Inner Rim, the Ghost crew would separate.

The Jedi faced their friends, silent. Dreading what was to come, but at the same time, ready for it to begin.

Commander Sato stepped forward first and grasped Kanan's hand. "You are a fine soldier," he said. "And a fine Jedi. The fleet will be at a loss without you."