Our Story

Backstory

     Air kept me sane with her insanity and I made sure Air didn't lose it and kill herself. We were best friends, sisters, and twins. But one stupid mistake and it messed everything up. Our friendship is tested and pushed over the next couple of months. I treasured what we had but sometimes feelings changed. Not always for the best.Ten months, three weeks, and three days. That is how long I have known Airy. As of January 12th, it will be one year. I love Aeryn. But she does not love me. Over the past five months, I have pretended to be a guy from France. She fell in love with this guy who doesn't exist. Airy and this guy dated, shagged, laughed, and he made her happy. I did not create this guy so I had a chance with her, at the time I didn't know that I loved her the way I do.

     I created him to help her. She was cutting, and she was sad and I couldn't think of anything else. As of recently, I told her the truth. She doesn't hate me as I expected her too. But I hurt her deeply because she truly loved him and so her heart has been broken by me. One week ago I asked her out, she said no and her reasons were she was straight, she didn't want to ruin our friendship, and she was still getting over William. But the real reason was, as she told me a few days ago, she wouldn't know if she would be imagining me or if it was leftover emotion from William since our personality is so alike. I understood that and I have only myself to blame.

     After I had asked her out a guy from her school, Arnold, asked her out and she said yes. That stung but it was survivable. What has killed me was four days ago. Air was at the roller skating rink with her friends Ezra and Laurel. Her friend Laurel has liked her for two years and that night Airy kissed Laurel. She sent me a text saying I was going to hate her. When she finally told me what had happened. I laughed. I was in shock at the time so I sat in my living room laughing like an insane person.

     When the words finally registered in my mind, I wasn't mad. I mean why would I be? We weren't dating but she felt bad because she decided to break it off with Arnold to date Laurel. She felt bad because she said yes to Laurel when she said no to me. I was hurt, no I was broken. I felt like I just had my heart ripped out, set on fire, and then put into a blender but even then, that didn't describe the pain well enough.

     Piece by piece my friend Muki and Airy helped me get it together. From Sunday night, I asked Airy out till the Saturday when she kissed Laurel I had cried every night. When I felt broken I cried for a solid five hours. Though it was Airy that broke me, she also put me back together with the help of a gluey Muki. Airy is my rock, my solid thing in life, the only thing I believe makes sense.

     I still love her. But I support her relationships, I offer to kill people when they hurt her. I stand by her side because not doing anything for her would hurt. If I had acted on my initial intention to ignore her till my heart healed. I couldn't have done it. I would have only broken my heart more trying to not hurt myself. I would be anything for her. A lover, a sister, a best friend, a protector, or a punching bag. It wouldn't matter, she could ask me to kill someone and if it helped her I would do it. I would do anything for her. I am a girl of many words but the one thing I cannot do is find a good way to explain how I feel. Right now I am her best friend and the person who keeps her from killing herself.

     As a result of my crying, I made myself sick so I am at home. Airy is texting me during school. Her reasoning is it is boring. After a while, you give up arguing with her because it becomes absolutely pointless. She sits in class complaining about her teacher and I sit at home laughing, coughing up a lung, and writing stupid love poems. Yeah, we need help. The sad part is I am getting help. My therapist won't call me strange or weird instead she calls me 'not normal' yeah that is me, Miss not normal.

     Recently I admitted to being bisexual. I have been since 4th grade but a girl has a tendency to have denial issues. Yeah, let's just not go there. I was afraid that my friends would treat me differently like Air's are. But no, the girls couldn't care less and the guys just gave themselves boners daydreaming of threesomes. My Mom and Grandparents don't care either unlike Airy's who would more than likely disown her. Plus she is only Bicurious, she likes guys more than girls.      Krista was the first girl I liked. She was a grade higher than me but we dated until she got out of elementary school in 6th grade. Her parents didn't know either. Her parents were just looking for an excuse to disown her, she was the black sheep of the family. She had orange-red hair while everyone else had brown. Her Dad had blue eyes and her Mom and sister green eyes, she had chocolate brown. They loved her little sister but treated her horribly. They didn't like me either, they thought I was a bad influence.

     In four years, six months, and one day. Once I graduate from high school, my friends and I will be taking a trip for the summer to find my dad. Whoever fits in whatever car we have and I will get the information I need from my Mom and finding him. My father kicked my mother out when he found out she was pregnant. My Mom was not supposed to get pregnant because of her heart condition, it could kill her, the baby, or both of us.

     My Mom kept the same address and phone number for years just in case he pulled his head out of his ass. It never happened. My father had two wives before my Mom and divorced both of them. Also, my Father was a slut and has like ten kids. But we both survived, my Father doesn't know I even exist. That will change, and he will not like it, I do promise that.