Our Story

Not Gonna Happen

     There is always a bright beginning, now what will the ending hold? All-day we text, Aeryn and I. We talk about me coughing up blood and scaring my neighbor. We talk about her needing to be taken care of. I worry about her. She is reckless and thinks she can take care of herself. I love her, I want to take care of her. She makes that freaking impossible.

     Someone cut her arm yesterday and I ended up punching a wall and almost having an asthma attack as a result of the text I received. I was so pissed and angry and worried. I realized that my therapist was not helping my sanity any. 

     I wish I could just drive up to Pennsylvania to go visit her, to make sure that she is ok. But I need a car and a driver's license first. Once I do though, every break I will be driving up there. My poor dear Airy who thinks she isn't important. I wish I could show her my point of view on how I see her. How amazing she is.

     I hear her talk about all these people who treat her badly and that makes me want to break their noses and ask if they are retarded. Air has a smile that warms up anything and laughter that is contagious. When she is sad you want to weep. To see someone so beautiful crying just breaks your heart.

     She is an angel to me. She does not act like one in any way but she is as beautiful as an angel. She is more than an angel though. She holds my heaven, my paradise. I don't think I could live without her. I feel connected to her. Some would say cursed but I feel blessed. Blessed to have met her, to have fallen in love with such a wonderful girl, and to be able to call her my best friend.

     Times like these that I wish Airy was here. It is pathetic to want to be protected but at times I want Air here, to hold me, tell me nothing is gonna hurt me and that she'd be there for me. But I am her guy, her protector, not the other way around. Why, should you ask, would I need Air to do this for me?

     The answer, my friend Timmie, or I used to think that he was my best friend. I told him that I liked girls and guys and he is so homophobic I don't think even Airy's and I's friend Bryan, could out homophobe him. Tim thought I was playing a joke on him at first. But I explained that I was serious and I even loved a girl with all my being.

     Tim was disgusted and started to call me every name in the book, fairy, faggot, cripple, queer, and more. I trusted Tim and he was one of my oldest friends and he hurt me the most. He told me I would burn in hell and I would have no friends ever again once this got out. I believed he would spread it to as many people as he could. But I didn't care, I wanted people to know. Not that I was bisexual, but that I loved Airy. I wanted to shout it out from the mountain tops.

      Then Tim struck a nerve. I didn't care that he said my family would disown me or that I would die alone. I lost it when he said that Air was a prostitute that would die of aids or being murdered because she was a retarded homosexual slut. I lost it. At that moment it didn't matter that he was my oldest friend, it wouldn't have mattered if he was God at that point.

     I cussed him up one side and down another. I was so pissed off. At that moment I wanted him dead so badly. Instead, I told him to go screw himself and that if he ever texted, called, or made any contact with me I would call the police for harassment. We are no longer friends, we don't speak. I am glad too.

     I loved Airy and no matter who it is, no one is allowed to say anything bad about her. I do not care if it is my best friend, a hobo, the Pope, God, my Mom, or even a freaking talking pig. Ain't nobody going to say nothing bad if I have a say. Once I am around her, then nobody will touch her, she won't have to deal with one more bully or any more abuse. No more bruises, scratches, or bleeding.                                                                 

                                                                  Never again.