Our Story

I Hate Myself Offcially

     Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Those are the words I keep repeating. God, I was so stupid! But is it healthier? God, I don't know! I don't fucking know. I love her so fucking much. But she isn't herself. She isn't my twin anymore, not the twin I know. This isn't her; this is her acting like her damned friends that I would kill if she would let me. She won't text me unless I text her, most days it takes the world to end to get her to reply. My twin would tell me everything!

     This new girl wouldn't tell me a damn thing if her life depended on it. Not only that but she has made a plan to make me hate her. This is just stupid because I could never hate her, I can't even stay upset with her. God, I love the girl so much, it hurts to think about what I did. I told her that she did what she wanted, she drove me away. She asked if I lost her or if she drove me away. In fact, it was both, she lost herself and I drove myself away because of it.

     I hate it, I hate it, and I really fucking hate it. I drew her name all over my hand to the point where it looked like I had either tattoos or a glove on my left hand. I did that just so I didn't start crying in class. I won't go to sleep and haven't slept in two days in fear of dreaming of her. Why do I love this girl so much? Why won't she love me too? I'm broken, I can feel it and I am trying like hell not to show it. I have shed more tears over than anyone else, and I would shed more blood over her if she would only love me the way I do her.

     The girl is gonna drive me crazy and she won't even talk to me. Am I so pathetic? She dreams of finding her prince charming and falling in love and I dream of her finally giving me a chance to show her that one day I could be enough, that maybe one day she could love me enough to not care what everyone else thinks...