Past events (on hold)

2 verbal arguments with my younger brother

If you read the first chapter or so you would know that I am a Christian.

I had a chance to attend confirmation preparations sessions but on the day when I want to confirm no one told me of when do I pass my form and no one told me anything from my class so I missed that time when my class (people my age) get baptised and confirmed together. That's a hood thing I guess because when I start to think of my life as a Christian and why am I not doing anything?

From then I have been trying to change church going church hunting
Every where my friends go and waiting for myself to get rid of whatever weird and non ethical issues that I have that will hinder my conscience when I reaccept Christ into my life full heartedly.

I always have this reason that if I stop dance like everyone else I can make more friends and not skip Sunday discussions so that I can learn the whole of something and not half of the subject. Dance hinder me from attending class which does not help when I have no there forms of ways to learn more about God and when I started the thought of leaving church my parents and people in church have been trying to add more and more jobs for me like doing AV and videography related stuff as I have been through the proper course for those and music related like sound operator but they have also took away my favourite job in church which is to play guitar and piano for leading music (that is kinda sad because I like to play instruments in church as I can learn the new songs and a way for me to practice though I feel I might get proud of myself just because I can play the instruments which is kinda bad to my character so I guess the pros and cons is equal)
Then there is kids ministry I normally go class hopping between my mother's chrech and my father's upper primary (primary 4-6/ age 9-12) and afternoon Sunday school.
Though I have fun in their lessons playing security for the babies boundary and teacher for the kids I don't really want to stay in my church....

Here comes argument 1...
Then my younger brother start with why did you not want to do your confirmation? Not Confirming = not children of God! Why do you go for mission trip when you are not a full Christian? You treating the mission trip as a holiday? Why did you not go to Sunday cell group? If you want to change church also ok but you have to attend church. Go do confirmation now! Etc so on and so forth....

My answer...
One of the few answers are before the questions but I know I have moral issues I need to work on before I accept Christ and that is one thing that I cannot tell anyone or explain to anyone until there is someone that can keep a secret and/or manage my problem discreetly for me. But no one has given me the chance to even listen to what I need. My parents cannot for heavens sake keep any form of secret and my brother is the one and only nemesis which is someone I should love that is making me so hard to love him instead I want to kill him but the thing is the Bible says even thinking of killing you have already killed so I try my best to keep my mind occupied with other thoughts than my brother....

Then comes argument 2
My brother start asking again.
You know I have legal privacy? You know that privacy does not include you stopping me from using your study table.
The house legally belongs my parents in paper, our parents have the right to allow me to go into your room to use the study table to work. I can use the room you are sleeping in to study you have no legal rights to stop me from studying in your room.

My answer
1) I know we need privacy that includes my room.
2) even though I do not legally own the house but I stay in it.
3) If we don't do our housework what would our parents say? They will say you own this house too.... Because you live in it.
4) so there goes I own it too because my parents say so...
That made him Speechless so he changed the subject to me not letting him use the room.
5) Then if I have to share the room I am using why can't you share your computer aka his laptop. My mum bought him a laptop and didn't get one for me claiming that she has not enough to get one for me. So I use one that I picked up from a house and specially bought the charger for that computer but is super old and slow that it pisses me off I had to get a disk reader and that computer does not have a HDMI output which I needed to test for projection. That is not the problem the thing is if he wants privacy so much to keep his electronic equipments locked my softwares he should not tell me to let him use my room which will result in me not having my privacy and place clean. My father also suggest emphasise the word 'suggest ' because he said 'you can' not you must. So you can means I can have a choice on letting or not and my choice is no so end of argument. I gave him a chance to use it but he using it indirectly cause me to not sleep and not keeping his belongings after use causing my table to be full and look messy that made my mother come and scream into my ear he will have to be banned forever. Full stop I win...

Call me selfish if you want but I want to tell you that if you want to borrow my room but leave your stuff anywhere on my table don't come and scream at me when your stuff goes missing as my mother will ask the maid or my grandma to help repack my room and if you using my room can cause me to not have my beauty sleep you should forever be banned from using any part of my room.