Past events (on hold)

Dejection

I Realized that I am always rejected or kepted as a substitute player in the game of life.

The time I had a leadership role in my secondary school is when I am 16 it was my last year in that school and I was going to guaduate soon. The thing is that CCA was. About to disband I am the last group of senior in that CCA and there is no juniors of teacher in charge to keep this CCA going.

Another time in church. I am in the dance ministry so we have dance practice every Sunday noon. The thing is when I always try to voice my comments or suggestions on the next dance moves nobody seems to listen to me (not that I didn't talk or is so soft that is only audible to ants). They only find me when there is nobody who could remember the moves at my level. I am the oldest kid in terms of rank and duration.

During Sunday church classes aka Sunday school they make us fill in a form stating which instruments I can play and they don't seem to look at anything other than my pass achievements with guitar. I told them I could play the piano but they didn't care. I had to show them during worship practices that I can help the pianist by showing them then they believed but after a few hours they go back to just putting me as the guitarist.

Everytime when I felt that I achived somethings and people don't seem to know I will feel rejected. Just like the previous student council president told me 'Leo is proud of what they do' I don't feel proud of what I do as I do not see any encouragement anywhere in sight. Rejection = lose confidence = dejected = average to low self esteem = loner

That is why I am a loner. (just stating the downside)

The picture I insert in this chapter is a plant with a bee. I took this in the botanical gardens. This picture is to show that whatever happens life has to go on. Do not give up on it as it is not the end.