Dont Leave Me

Nine

"Rosie I think it'd be pretty rad cool if you'd be my girlfriend."

"I'd think it'd be pretty rad cool if I accepted your offer." I say and kiss his cheek. I was happy, this was an unusual week. I wasn't use to happiness but JC just made me feel some kind of way. Like I was the only girl he saw.

We leave and break the news to Tayler and Kian but for the media, I was scared.
Tayler helped me set up for home school but JC has now been recognized all over in California too.
He's also enrolled in home school with me but I was still nervous. All of his fan girls will hate me.

"I love you and that's all that matters." I guess he could tell I was in deep panic. I sigh. "You can break the news." I let go, I didn't care anymore.

Kian takes a picture of JC and I kissing and he posts it on his media.
"Love this girl, also known as my beautiful girlfriend." He caption's and fans go nuts.

"She's so pretty."
"JC your fine."
"EW,GROSS."
"are you kidding me?"

Comments like that, most of them were negative.

JC is at the web store because his laptop has been acting up, Kian was hanging out with Tayler at the carnival for the whole day which meant I was alone and that's when bad things happen.

I pace back and forth debating on if the razors worth it.
I eye it, then turn my head.
I'm strong, I'm clean and I can't go back.
I look back on my phone to the comment's about how ugly I was and everything else.
That's it Delilah. Do it.
I pick up he razor and hold it staring at it still unsure.
I didn't want to relapse, but I deserved it.
If I didn't, I'd be getting no punishment.

I hold it with my fingers and before I slide it across my arm JC walks in the door.
"DELILAH." He's never called me that before, it was always Rosie and it hurt for some reason.

I drop the blade and it makes noises as it bounces on the wooden floor.
JC wraps his arms around me and pushes his head into his chest.
"Why, Rosie?" He pulls away and throws the razor into the trash.

"I don't know, I'm stupid." I pout, the week of happiness was over. The depressed sad angel was back again and she was worse than ever.

"Your not stupid, quit saying that." He says in anger.

"JC, you have no clue."

"I HAVE NO CLUE THAT YOUR FRAGILE BODY DIDN'T DESERVE TO BREAK AGAIN? I HAVE NO CLUE YOU TRY TO FIX YOUR FLAWS BY HIDING THEM? NO ROSIE I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE YOURSELF."

"JC YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WENT THROUGH. EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY ALMOST TWELVE YEARS I'VE BEEN BULLIED BY OTHERS. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW I WAS TREATED BY MY FAMILY. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE LEFT ME." I didn't even tell him all of it, I couldn't get it all out. I was crying, deeply upset and I was doubting myself.

"Rosie I love you so much, you don't deserve any of this."

"Well..... I got it didn't I?" I look at him and sniffle.

"You shouldn't of." He says solemn I guess he meant it.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
I don't know what to do, I don't understand I'm lost in the head.

He kisses me passionately and I don't hesitate to accept.
He lays on top of me and we make out.
I wouldn't let it go any further, but I was enjoying what was going on.

We hear the door open and Kian yells.
"GOOD JOB MAN." JC pulls away and smirks.

I put my head down in embarrassment. Good job for what? Kissing his girlfriend?
I laugh to myself and they all look at me confused. I shake my head and grab my jacket.

"Where you going, babe?" He chases me hugging me from behind.

"Coffee, wanna go?" I turn and look at him.

"Yesssss." He grabs his too and I drive us to the closet McDonalds.
We order our coffees and drive back home.

Once we get home we notice laughing from upstairs. It wasn't a pleasant sound it seemed sexual and I wasn't enjoying it.
JC and I both bust out with laughter and run upstairs.
JC bangs on the door and all the noise becomes silent.
We continue to laugh. "Have a nice time." I joke and the come out minutes later. Tayler squints her eyes at me while kian smirks.

"Ug, you guys are gross." I laugh and walk into jc's bedroom which was also mine now.

JC gives me his tee and we cuddle up next to each other and sleep.