Dont Leave Me

Eighteen

I went home for like an hour to shower and change into some new clothes.
For all I could care, I could look a mess.

I didn't bother with makeup, I knew I'd cry it all off. I wore sweatpants and a sweat shirt. I sprayed jc's Cologne on me because I wanted to. It was weird but I wanted to, I wanted to smell like him.

Once I return jc's sound asleep.
Tayler and Kian were at home because kian was a mess and wanted to be alone.

I on the other hand wanted to be alone too, but if I left JC for too long I was scared something bad would happen.

I push his curly hair back and kiss his lips softly.
He flutters his long eyelashes and smiles.

"Hey baby girl." He tries to put his arms up to welcome me for a hug but they were too weak. He couldn't.

I frown and begin to cry. I couldn't take seeing him like that. I'm a pathetic cry baby. I never stop tears.
Someone get me a freaking pacifier.

"Maybe the doctors will let me go home soon." He says in a question tone.

"You don't look so good JC." I wanted him to stay. If he went home he could pass out again.

"I want to go ho-" I cut him off.

"You need to stay here and heal." I kiss his forehead and pull a chair next to his bed. I interlocked my fingers into his and hold it tight.

"I don't ever want to let go." I say looking into his beautiful chocolate eyes.

"I'm never going to let go of you." His cheesiness was making me happy. Him in all made me happy. I hate seeing him like this, how can such an amazing human have something so terrible happen to them? I'm so confused. I'm lost. I don't understand.
Maybe its because his life went wrong, he wasn't suppose to love me. Maybe that wasn't god's plan.
I cried harder. I can't hold tears anymore, I Cant take pain anymore. It wouldn't surprise me if JC got sick of me soon.
It was crazy how insane I was for this boy.
I'm like a little fan girl that got their wish of dating their idol. He's my idol I look up to him.
What a strong human being.
I admire him for awhile and he notices.

"You like the view of my face?" He chuckle's slightly coughing afterwards.

"I always love the view of your face." I was constantly forcing smiles so I didn't stress him out too much. It seemed like every time he saw I was upset he tried to talk more and he said it hurts when he talks.
He was so generous and sweet.
He doesn't deserve this.
It should have been me. I deserve it, i don't understand why it happened to him instead of me.

I sigh and burry my face into my hands.
"Babe, can you come snuggle with me? I'm cold." JC begs.

"There's no room in your bed. I'll push another one next to yours though and get you a blanket."
He frowns. "This sucks, I want to wrap my arms around you."

"I want the same JC, but it won't work that way." I frown back.

His lip quivers and he covers his face with his hands.
"I want out of this hell." He groans.
Me too. "I want you out of here too." My lips chatter and shake with sadness.
I lay into the bed I pushed next to jc's and sleep.

"I love you Rosie."

"I love you too." We continued to talk. He said the pain killers helped him a little.

"Remember what you promised me in the woods?"

I cry harder. "Quit talking about that." I cry into the tacky pillow plastered behind my head.

"Just remember. I want the best for you. Forever and always." He mutters slightly obviously in pain.

And with that we both fall asleep.