To Jupiter

The Day

Dear Jupiter,
Do you remember the first time we went to the movies?
My parents dropped me off and headed out to the smoke shop to get drunk and forget my existence for a few hours.
We met in front of the theatre, seeing some movie about Mars ironically.
It was good, the actor was hot.
We both paid for our own things as friends do, ya know, popcorn, tickets, candy, all that jazz.
I remember trying to force you to hold my hand because it made you all flustered and uncomfortable. It was like a little sisters dream come true.
We watched the movie, blow clouds of vapor that, at one point, literally floated up through the projection and made everyone turn to us. (We ducked down just in time)
I remember making stupid ass jokes about kinks and all the nonsense that comes with them.
But mostly, I remember after the movie was over, us making a break for a little arch way so we could talk with out my parents there.
This is the day I tell everyone about, the most quoted words from our relationship.
It was already sprinkling, and you were doing something on your phone. I remember grabbing your mod, taking a huge hit, before running out to play in the rain. When I walked back to you, soaking wet, you were smiling.
Which was weird because clouds always put you in a bad mood, all that day you had been a huge grump.
I asked you why you were smiling, thinking maybe girlfriend said something sweet or stupid or both that made your lips tug up.
Maybe you mom had said something that made your heart ache.
But instead you answered, looking at me like I was the most important thing in the universe.
As if me just being there was the very gravitational pull that kept you locked into the galaxy.
You stuttered a bit at first, clearing your throat and o had to provoke you for a deeper answer.
"I normally hate the clouds and rain, but right now I think, I think I love them. "
That was the first day I noticed I was falling in love.
That day is like my pocket in space-time, tiny, improbable, almost impossible, but still here.
And I look back on it fondly, like memories of you and me matching in our leather jackets and tight black skinny jeans.
Or your smile.
But thinking back, that is one of the few nice things ever said in our relationship.
And it wasn't even about me.
I understand now that you are an asshole. A beautiful beautiful asshole, but an asshole none the less.
I guess it really is a tragedy, your existence.
And it really is too bad your personality isn't as nice as your face.
Fuck you, now, then, forever,
Saturn.