Have a little Hope (Connor Franta Fanfic)

Chapter 9

I woke up in bed back in California around 3 pm. I was still devastated by Nicole's death, and her funeral would be held in LA because it was her favorite place on earth. I spent the day moping around, and at 4 Connor came into our room.

"How are you feeling babe?" He asked.

I didn't answer, I just cried. And cried. And cried.

"I'm going to get some Starbucks. I'll be right back." Connor said. He left, and I was left alone. All the other boys and Maddi were in the house, but I didn't leave my room. I went to the bathroom and found blades. The last time I cut was when I attempted suicide. I sat against the locked door, and made a deep slit in my wrist.

Then another.

Then another.

I eventually had 10 slits in my wrist. I just sat there, crying while my arm was bleeding tons. A few minutes later Connor  came back.

"Hope! Open the door!" Connor said, frantic.

Shit, I thought to myself. The blood ran under the door crack.

"Please.." Connor said. I gave in and opened the door, hiding my wrist behind my back.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled.

"I-I," he didn't let me finish. Connor took my arm, and started to cry when he saw the cuts.  He bandaged them up, cleaned the floor and left the room.

"Connor... I'm sorry." I said.

"Just give me minute." Tears still streaming down his face.

Connors POV

Hope was cutting. Again. It pained me too much to see them. I bandaged her wrists and left.

"Connor... I'm sorry." Hope said.

"Just give me a minute." I said, tears streaming down my face. I rarely cry, but this I just couldn't handle. The love of my life, cuts. It breaks my heart. I went to Ricky's room.

"Hey dude what's up, oh." Ricky said, before realizing I was crying.

"Hope was cutting again. I can't stand to see it anymore. The love of my life cutting. I don't know what to do or say anymore." I was bawling now.

"Con da Bon, she's gonna be ok. Her best friend just died. Which isn't any good reason to cut, but she will be fine. Now go talk to her." Ricky said, making me feel better.

"Thanks Rickster." I walked out of his room, and back to mine and Hope's.

"Ummm, Hope, can we talk?" I said. Her eyes were red and puffy. I assume from crying.

"Yeah." She said.

"Why do you cut?" I asked her. She looked stunned.

"Because, well, I don't know. It's just relief. It doesn't even hurt, it's like letting everything that's built up inside you out. That's why I cut." That made me tear up.

"Promise never to do that again? Please?" I said.

"Promise." Hope said. She started crying again, so I held her until she fell asleep. I laid her down on the bed, covered her with a blanket, and kissed her on the forehead.

"Goodnight beautiful." I said. I walked out of the room, and went downstairs to watch a movie.

Hope's POV

I has fallen asleep, and now it was 12:00 am. Connor wasn't next to me, so I got out of bed to look for him.

As I stood up I got a little dizzy, but then continued on my way downstairs. I heard Connors voice coming from the living room, and Maddi's too. I decided to listen in on the conversation.

"Come on, Hope is asleep. She'll never know." Connor said that. What was going on here?

"I know but- ok, fine." Maddi said. I couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I yelled, probably waking up the whole house.

I just stood there as the tears fell from my eyes, dripping onto the floor. Maddi and Connor were there. Making out.

"Babe, it's not what it looks like." Connor said, breaking away from Maddi.

"Really? Because it looks like you and my supposedly best friend were just making out!" I yelled.

"Please Ho-" I cut him off.

"Save it." I walked off crying, and went to Kian's room. I walked in and he was crying.

"You don't have to tell me, I heard." Kian said. I cried into his chest, and he cried into my hair.

"I'm going to go back to bed. Goodnight Kian." I said, still crying. I wasn't going to bed. For all I knew, they were down there kissing.

I walked into the bathroom, and took out my razors. I cut myself so many times. Too many. All I could see was red, and it slowly faded to black.

(Whoa Drama! See what happens next!)