I'm Sorry Brendon || Rydon

3/24/11

I went by your grave today. It was so.... Full of life, meaning there were live flowers everywhere and a rabbit was sitting in front of the stone. There were tons of flowers, but no one had put down your favorite kind. I laid down a single white rose. It was fake. I was going to get a real one, but I didn't want it to die too. I remember you always loved them. Even though you hated fake flowers. Something weird happened. I laid it down and turned to leave. When I got to the car, I took a glance back at the grave and I swear I seen you. I don't know if I'm going crazy or what. But when I turned around, I seen you. You were just sitting there on your stone, looking at me. Your face was tear stained and it looked like you wanted to scream. Brendon, I know it sounds crazy. But you were there. I know it! You just sat there and watched me like you wanted to talk. Like you wanted to stop me from leaving. But you couldn't. You still had the hole in your head that was still running red, and the cuts on your arm. I broke down crying. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to kiss your cuts and just hold you in my arms Bren. But I couldn't. When I wiped my tears, you just faded away. I'm going crazy..... Or were you there? Fuck! I don't know. I don't know much of anything anymore.....