Rule #2: Shoppin’ Till I’m Droppin’
“Do you think these black rugs would look good, or the mahogany ones?”
“Neither.” Thank god rugs are soft or I would be seriously damaged by the way Audrey threw one of them at me.
She frowned, holding the two colours. “Really? I think the black ones are nice.”
I eyed her hand warily as it was about to drop her latest home addition into the cart. Closer… closer…
“But the mahogany ones feel more welcoming.”
I groaned, slamming my head on the rack full of those goddamned rugs.
We had been here for hours. I’d done all the home decoration before Audrey had arrived last night, for the sole purpose of never being in this situation. That clearly didn’t work out.
“Come on, Audrey. The house looks just fine!” I whined, wheeling the cart into the food aisle at Wal-Mart. Now this I could work with.
“Adam, you turned our house into a bachelor pad. Beer in the fridge, frozen pizzas, single beds in both rooms, everything else completely bare,” she replied tossing fat-free yogurt granola bars into the shopping cart I was wheeling.
I switched them quickly with normal ones, and added the pack of Cheetos I’d been hiding along into the haul. What? I think my figure was perfectly fine. Oh, hers was too. Neither of us needs dieting nor fat-free anything, period.
“Adam, put my fat-free bars back in,” Audrey called over her shoulder. I gaped at the back of her head. What was this girl, a freaking mind reader? With the last thought, my blog popped into my head. Before I could dwell on it, Audrey shot me a stern look and I sighed, putting her bars back in and wheeling ahead. By the time we reached the counter, I’d received several baby-daddy looks.
We loaded the bags in my red truck after checking out, and I turned the stereo on as Audrey buckled herself in. “Careful, I said as I watched her sneaker-clad feet suspiciously so they wouldn’t touch any part of my Lana except the floor. This was my baby; I drove her here from Ottawa myself.
She just rolled her eyes at me as was customary and changed stations. A One Direction song was playing, and I had to grip the steering wheel tighter to refrain myself from tapping along to the beat. Nothing against the band, really, I may not listen to them personally but I’m sure the boys were all top-notch lads and their music was half-decent too. Catchy, at least. But I had to conform to society or I may lose my balls. Literally.
I caught Audrey’s dark brown eyes and looked away. I knew what she was thinking and I wasn’t falling for it.
“Hey, Adam. You remember prom last year?”
“Sure. We danced all night to the best song ev-dammit!”
She started laughing manically and I smiled, now full out humming along as I typed in our home address in the GPS. Prom was only before the summer, but Auds and I tended to go by school years. Always have, always will.
We had gone to prom together, as friends of course. Auds had wimped out of asking out Mystery Guy, and no one wanted to ask out the short, greasy-haired kid that was me back then. No wonder I never got laid, I thought to myself. My mind wandered to the blog again.
“Oh, you never sent me your blog last night.”
Yup. Freaking mind reader. “Yeah, about that. I’ll keep it to myself for now,” I said, taking a turn into an Esso station. Audrey stuck her head out the window as I filled my tank.
YOU ARE READING
Adam&Audrey
Humor[Humor #184 / Romance #259] Meet Adam. A nineteen year old college freshman ready to take on the world with his best friend Audrey by his side. But when Audrey hatches a scheme for Adam to start a blog to help him lose his virginity, things start t...