ABOUT ME/QUOTES

Behind your back

I love this saying because I can personally relate to it a fair amount. These past few years (4 to be exact) I have been (what I consider to be) bullied. Now, most of you will probably think that what I consider to be bullying, isn't and that is why I never speak out about it. I was spoken about behind my back constantly. Insulted to my face because of my religion and personality. I was swore at left, right and center because I was and ugly a** b*tch Mormon, because "no one liked me" and " I would never have a future because no one you ever marry someone as f*cking idiotic as me". Sometimes it was on the bus...others during school right in front of everyone. Teachers did nothing, the bus driver did nothing. My dad had to personally talk to my bus driver because he was fed up with seeing me come home almost in tears thinking about the day. Yes, I know it seems pathetic to most of you. Yes, I realize it was pointless to let myself get down because of it...but it has had a major effect on my self esteem! It effected me more then it should have, more then it would have if I was stronger. Later I started cutting and I thought I deserved it all. I thought I deserved to be called Satan because maybe I was. Maybe I was so horrible to the world that I didn't deserve to be in it anymore. Still, I went to school and listened to it. Now that I am away from it...I'm better. Looking at this saying however, I am realizing that it shouldn't matter what they say because they are standing behind me to hide. They are standing behind me because I am better then them, I would never stoop to that level. I am a better person. My character traits which define me are higher up then theirs. I'm not sure what it will be like when I go back to school, but I hope that with this newfound knowledge I will be strong enough to face them or to ignore them and move on with a smile. I'm not sure if I can...but I will try because somewhere inside me is a brave warrior that shouldn't be kept hidden anymore.