Realities

2a

The Captain or Grey as he prefers to be called takes me across the road to a nice looking house with a dead lawn and overgrown flower beds. Grey really wasn't joking when he said his yard was in bad shape.

Grey couldn't see my expression when he said, "See I told you it was in bad shape. I'm going to be the one to get the most out of this deal Miracle." It always makes me smile when he calls me Miracle. Silly I know, but hey a girl can't help but feel what she feels.

Grey takes me to the stairs and helps me walk up. Stairs are what the therapy dragons have been having me work on. Although I don't really need help it's comforting to have his hand on my arm, I do still have pain. A particularly bad pain had me stop in my tracks and squeeze his arm hard. I tried desperately to blink away the tears, I don't want him to see me cry.

"It's okay Miranda, we'll take it as slow as we need to." Grey's calm voice is reassuring and after a bit the pain goes down to bearable levels. I take another step forward and I'm finally off those damnable steps. I give a near silent sigh of relief and hear Grey chuckle in response.

"I heard that with some people with trauma like yours they find stairs particularly trying. Fortunately these are the only stairs I have." I love that  man's laugh, it's low and sexy. Damn, if I'm not careful I'll be on a one sided love affair. Been there and done that, not interested in doing that again.

"Sorry, I-" I start but Grey interrupts me.

"No, I'm sorry. You're still recovering and here I am laughing at your pain." At his words I look over at him in astonishment. A gentleman, and he's apologizing to me for a nothing.

Grey frowns in puzzlement at my look. "What's wrong Miracle? Damn, I'm scaring you off already aren't I?"

No, but if he could hear what I was saying to myself he'd be scared and running as fast from me as he could get. He's looking at me and waiting for a response. "No, Grey. Just the opposite in fact. For some reason I'm comfortable with you and not when I'm with other males. In fact they had to put me with only females therapy aides or I wouldn't, or rather couldn't, do any of the work. I would get too anxious and go into a panic attack." I looked away from him with this confession. I didn't want to see the questions or pity he'd show me.

"Miracle, why won't you look at me?" Grey asks softly now. "I don't hold it against you. Obviously you have had bad experiences with men before that your body remembers even if your mind doesn't."

I can't lie to him any longer. "Grey, I need to talk to you and I can't do it out here." I can't keep the tears from falling now or keep them out of my voice.

Grey lets me into the house and I go over to the couch and sit on the edge. He goes back out to retrieve the wheelchair. He folds it up and sets it next to the door before coming into the living room and sitting in the chair perpendicular to the couch. I know he studies me as the silence lengthens uncomfortably.

I glance at him, his face is blank and difficult to read. It's not going to get better. I take a deep breath and begin. "After this you might wish to take me back to the hospital, maybe even the mental ward. I wouldn't blame you.

"I do remember, Grey. I haven't said anything because I know I'll sound crazy. Before I was hit by the car... damn there's no way to say this without it sounding like I'm a loon." I'm already planning on him taking me back to the hospital and committing me. I angrily wipe the tears away from my face.

"First off, I'm divorced. My ex husband was incredibly abusive. If I could forget anything it would be those years I lived with him, unfortunately we don't get to choose. Or at least I don't. So yes, there is a real reason, a very valid one for why I couldn't be near those therapy aides." Grey's jaw is clenched like he is angry and doing his best to keep things to himself.