Realities

3c

Miranda stopped paying attention to anything anymore. Grey had honored her request and had a new doctor assigned to her case, and Grey hasn't returned since the day she told him to leave.

She no longer sleeps, she's too restless. Only the feeding tubes are keeping her alive now. It didn't matter. Even though they are force feeding her, she's getting weaker and weaker. They've had to put in a catheter because she can no longer walk to the bathroom.

"Miranda? Would you like to sit up so you can see outside?" The voice of her new doctor intrudes on her thoughts. "I was told that you would look outside for hours at a time before."

At least she's nice, Miranda thinks to herself. She shrugs, speaking is too much effort. Her new doctor helps her sit up and sets things up so the pillows will support her weight. "Does that feel okay?" The doctor asks when she stops fiddling.

Miranda feels it would be rude to not answer this time and so makes an effort to answer. "It's fine, thanks." Just that much takes so much out of her she has to close her eyes for a bit. She's surprised to feel the doctor's hand on her forehead.

"You're running a fever Miranda. Why didn't you say something sooner?" The doctor asks in concern.

"Who'd believe me? I'm insane remember?" Miranda tries to smile but it's too much.

"We'd at least check you out Miranda. How long have you felt like this?" Miranda wished she could remember this doctor's name she was really nice.

Miranda wants to shrug but doesn't have the energy. "I don't know. The days run together. One day? Two? does it really matter? Could I have a drink of water?" Miranda doesn't know who is more surprised by that request the doctor or herself.

"Of course. Here let me help you." The doctor helps Miranda by holding the cup and helping her sit forward so she doesn't choke when she swallows.

"Enough. Thanks." Miranda is exhausted now. "What can I do for you doctor?" Miranda looks at the doctor for a bit before turning her gaze to the outside.

"You can tell me what the hell is going on with you." The doctor say kindly but with steel in her voice.

"Have you read the notebooks that Doctor Grey has from me?" Miranda waits until the doctor nods before continuing. "Did you read them?"

"Yes." The word is said in such a way as to close off all avenues of conversation about that.

"I see. Well you then know, between the notebooks and what the 'good' doctors wrote in their notes about me." Miranda says it all without the sarcasm she feels.

"Doctor Grey seems to think that the characters you wrote about are about him." The doctor says cautiously.

"Doctor Grey thinks whatever Doctor Grey wishes too. Those people I met before I ever met him, so tell me Doctor how could they be about him?" Miranda turns back to look at the doctor to await her reply.

"I think Doctor Grey wishes that it had been about him." The doctor replies and although it appears that she is writing in her notes she is actually watching Miranda carefully.

The look of disbelief and incredulity on Miranda's face surprises the doctor somewhat. It wasn't the look she had expected so she looks up. "You don't believe me?"

"No. When I had compared him to the captain one time it was like I had slapped him. And he has refused any other comparisons." Miranda turns away from the doctor again. "Why would you think that about Doctor Grey anyway?" But her voice lacks the curiosity that the doctor thought she might show.