Feelings (chenbaek)

05

Credit to the illustrator ^^
* two months later*

It was a warm sunny afternoon, and I Kim Jongdae was hanging out with my best friend, brother, crush, lover...err whatever you wanna call it, baekhyun. Over the past two months we've gotten super close, we'd always hangout with each other, and maybe have a sleep over from time to time. And over that corse of time, my shyness has quietly gone down -for which I am grateful -

But with that in mind, that's also a reason for me too keep my distance. Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about....confessing... to baekhyun. I don't want anything to change between us, I like our relationship as it is; but now that our relationship has grown, so has my feelings. And I'm pretty sure sooner or later baekhyun would notice...

"Chen? Jongdae?" I blinked, snapping out of my thoughts as baekhyun waved his hand in front of my face. "W-what?" Baekhyun laughed as he settled back on the couch. "You've been staring at the wall for fifteen minutes" I chuckled nervously. "Sorry, it's just that, your wall is so interesting" I said, earning a soft chuckle from baekhyun. I sighed checking my phone, my eyes widen when I saw the time.

"Crap" I murmured, getting baekhyun's attention. "What's wrong?" I quickly got up from my spot at the floor, "Uhm I promised lay and xiumin I would meet with them...can we hang out again later?" I asked, baekhyun's expression morphed into sadness but quickly covers it with a smile. "Sure go ahead, I need to go meet someone anyways" he said standing up and walking me to the door, "ok bye baekhyuniee" I said giving him a quick hug, too which he quickly returned. "Bye bye"
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"Hey guys sorry I'm late" I said out of breath, taking a seat in front of my two best friends. I'm so glad we decided to meet at the cafe, or else I would be dying of thirst. "So what's up?" I asked to either of them, but mostly to xiumin who looked like he was gonna explode. "LUHAN AND I ARE DATING!" I dramatically, spitted the water I was drinking all over lay. "Why would you spit on me, when xiumin is the person who....you know what never mind." I quietly apologized to lay who was wiping his face, as xiumin laughed loudly.

"Since when? How? Where? Why?...whaaa??" I said confused out of my mind. "I confessed two days ago, and found out he felt the same way...so I asked him out" I smiled as he and Lay were fanboying with each other. "I'm happy for you two" I said, slightly feeling a bit sad that me and baekhyun would never be like this. "Enough about me, how's your love life going?" I sighed, staring at the scenery outside.

"Same as always" I murmured. I turned back to xiumin who was now frowning. "You should tell him" I shook my head quickly, "no way...who knows what will happen" Lay who was pretty much quiet the whole time finally spoke up. "Exactly, Chen you need to take a risk....you wouldn't know if he likes you until you ask" I blinked, as I glance at his intense stare. "Y-your right" I said getting up, feeling all fired up.

"Go get em' chen!" Xiumin shouted as I run out of the cafe. I'm going to tell baekhyun my feelings...and hope for the best...
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I stood in front baekhyun's door -breathing heavily- , for the second time today. I clutched the bouquet of roses in my hand, as I knocked on his door. My hands shook when I heard the click of his door, calm down..just tell him how you feel Jongdae... My breath hitch when I saw baekhyun's smiling face. "Chennie! You're back" I smiled nervously. "Yeah....I wanted to .....tell you something" I said still out of breath. "Byun baekhyun" I spoke up, making baekhyun stare at me with wide-curious eyes.

"Since the day I met you I-" my sentence was cut off, when I heard a girls voice from behind his door. "Baek" I felt my heart tug, baek? I'm the only one who calls him that... "Who's there?" I froze when a girl, with light brown hair and big brown eyes stepped up to him. "Oh Kimi, this is Jongdae..my best friend in the whole universe!" He said smiling sweetly at the girl. Who the hell are you?? "Hi I'm Jongdae...and you are"

"Oh I wanted to tell you earlier but you left, Chen-Chen this is Kimi....my girlfriend" I blinked, my heart feeling like it's being ripped apart and shoved in the blender. "G-girlfriend??" I asked, my voice breaking. "Yup, we've been dating for three weeks now" I gripped on the rose harder. And you didn't tell me?? "Oh, that's...nice" I muttered. Kimi smiled as she placed a peck on baekhyun's cheeks. How dare you kiss him in front of me?!

"I should go...sorry I disturb your moment together" I mumbled. I was getting ready to leave before, I felt a hand wrapped around my wrist. "Wait, you don't have to go" baekhyun said, looking at me with big desperate eyes. I blinked, before forcing a small smile. "It's fine, here" I said handing the rose to him "give it to your girlfriend" I said quietly. Baekhyun's grip soften, before I softly ripped away from his grasp. "Bye baekhyun"

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I was too late... I thought as I stood under the warm water of the shower, thinking about all the times we've been together.... Was he just messing with me? "Why baekhyun..." I felt tears stream down my face as I punched the wall. "Why?!!" I screamed -glad that I was home alone- I held my hand as I sobbed uncontrollably. I guess I'll never experience the feeling of being with baekhyun....

When I was done, my tears were all dried up from crying a full 30 minutes. I checked my phone to see the whole screen filled with text messages, from Xiumin, Lay, and....baekhyun.

Baekhyun: hey Chen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Kimi...I hope your not mad... And if you are I'm really sorry, goodnight Chen ... As always...I love you..

I frowned, throwing my phone across the room.

Don't tell me such lies...please just...tell me why you do this to me baekhyun.... Why do your words pain my heart?? And even so... Why can't I stop thinking about you...why...

Can't I stop loving you???

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed, (cus I cried writing this😭) as always comment & vote 💜💖

~EXO L-chan