Feelings (chenbaek)

06

I woke up the next morning from the sun shining in my eyes, yawning I lazily made my way downstairs for some breakfast. When I was downstairs I could see my mom making some pancakes, "morning mom" I mumbled. My mom was pretty cheerful that morning, before she saw my face. "Jongdae! Are you ok? You look horrible.." She said quickly grabbing my face and examining it.

I broke out of her grip softly before checking myself in the living room mirror. Ugh I do look horrifying... My eyes were red and swollen from crying, my face was pale, and my hair was a mess. I sighed, making my way upstairs to the bathroom. I quickly took a nice warm shower, making sure to be clean all the way through. When I was done I brushed my teeth and added some eye medicine to calm the redness of my eyes. I went back to my room and slipped on some black jeans with a white jacket, not bothering to fix my hair I made my way downstairs again.
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The rest of the day went by pretty slowly, I just sat in my room reading while listening to music. Singing along from time to time. It was 3:40 when I checked the clock, I was starting to get bored but I didn't want to leave the comfort of my home. Not now, not ever; I just want to sit here and sulk in my own misery. I was just about to grab a snack, until I heard the doorbell ring. I stopped midway down the stairs, just barely peeking trough the wall when I heard that voice...

That oh so beautiful yet painful voice....

"Good afternoon Mrs. Kim, is Jongdae home?" Baekhyun asks with a concerned smile. My mom looked back, knowing that I was watching. No, I mouthed. I don't want to see you right now..I don't want to see anyone right now... "I'm sorry but but he's not feeling well, why don't you come back some other time dear?" I sighed quietly. "Oh well...is he ok??" I blinked, staring at baekhyun again - although I can't really see him-

"He's fine just rather ill" I watched as he shifted from side to side. "Ok well can you give him this note please?" I glanced as he passed my mom a neatly folded piece of paper. "O-of course my dear...thank you for being concerned" baekhyun bowed in respect before leaving. I finally came downstairs when the coast was clear, "why did you avoid him?" Mom asked handing me the note. "I just....it's nothing mom..." I said giving her a weak smile, to which she just looked at me with concern. "If you say so..."
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I didn't bother reading the note, why should I? It'll probably be some stupid apology letter.... I sat in front of my keyboard, just thinking about all the things that have happened since baekhyun came into my life. Baekhyun you asshole, why did you make me go trough such a roller coaster...you know I hate roller coasters... I sighed, staring at the note for at least the 10000 time now...maybe I should read it.. I reluctantly, took the paper in my hand, glancing at the big bold letters that say to Jongdae.

My heart started to ache when I read the first sentence. I was right, it was an apology.. But it wasn't the normal, 'I'm sorry', no it was more sincere.

To Jongdae:
Dear Chennie, I'm so very truly sorry. I felt as if- no I know I pained you, I wish I could tell you this myself..but judging by this note you probably don't want to see me. I'm sorry for not telling you everything sooner, I would be mad too if I was in your shoes. I'm sorry..really.., and I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but just know...

I'm so lucky to have you... And you already know... I love you Kim Jongdae..and I always will...
-baekhyun

And that did the trick to make me cry rivers. You say you understand, but you don't...don't you see baekhyun I love you too! So much that I can't even keep it a secret anymore... But then she came... But is it alright to be so selfish? I feel bad knowing that I want your smiles, your kisses, your hugs, your love...all to myself. Is that bad baek? Tell me, is it bad for me to only want you and only you to myself....

I sighed placing the note on my desk neatly,
I'm so lucky to have you...

Before I know it, my fingers started dancing across the keyboard on their own. Softly playing the tune that's been stuck in my mind since I met baekhyun....

(Song: best luck)

Oh baekhyun, if only you would understand how I feel, then..and only then would I be satisfied...

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Hello fellow EXO lovers😁 I hope your enjoying the story so far! (That song made me cry)As always comment and vote💖💜🐱(newest emoji edition)

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