You know what fucks me up the most about people?
It's the fucking fact that one moment you think you are really good friends with them and the next they fuck with you behind your back(talk behind your back).
And I swear, I just want to drown myself in tears after learning this kind of news. Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is to know that your "sois-disant" friend talks behind your back.
It fucking hurts.
And at the end of the day,
Me being me,
A fucking shy, and incapable of standing up for herself person,
I can't do anything about it
So here I am just writing my feelings off on this page.
And after all this,
I can't fucking do anything about it.
Somedays I can't even cry. Somedays I cry myself to sleep. And this...
This is just pure pain.
Every day,
While you're talking to your "friends" and just making as if everything's fine and laughing it off.
But nothing is fine in fact. It's hell.
Suicide did cross my mind at times but you see, I want to live but I don't want to catch feelings. I don't want feelings.
Actually...
It's the feelings that fuck me up.
All of it.
The feelings
The Thoughts
The fake laughs
In the end, I'm just a fucked up kid.
And nobody knows I've been like that for the past year.
You can't trust no one in this society these days.
They judge you for every single mistake you do. Every single action you take is being judged by someone. And you'll just never escape from this.
It's a cycle that goes on and on and on.
You do something, we judge, you try to correct it, most times its a fail so you do something again.
We're never getting out of this cycle.
