You know,
Now that i think about it.
You never actually cared about me,
About us.
I think that's why i'm so scared of being... feeling happy. As soon as I feel happy, everything just goes away and i'm plunged back into darkness again.
I talked to you about everything.
All my insecurities, my fears, my depression... every single thing.
And in return, do you know what I got?
I got nothing. You didn't care about all this. You just needed a "girl".
I actually thought you were the one...
I guess not.
I love you so much but loving you is tearing me into a million pieces.
One by one, i'm slowly falling into a pit of eternal darkness.
Do you have any idea how hurt i am?
How angry i am?
How depressed i am?
How sad i am?
How lonely i am?
No you don't, and you won't ever feel the way I do.
Because you simply just don't give a shit.
I tried not caring. But i always end up caring.
I'm always the one sending messages first,
Sending you "I love you" first.
Being here for you when your feeling upset about a little thing.
I just want it all to be over.
But i can't end it now.
I just can't.
I love you so much and you just don't seem to notice.
You think i'm telling you everything? But no i am not.
All this,
All of this stupid book i'm drafting on here,
It's all true.
My true feelings.
Yet no one seems to realize,
Even less you.
And i just don't understand how you can live with the feeling that you're making me feel inferior.
You still don't get it don't you?
You don't get that i love cooking, I love writing, you don't get that writing is my sweet escape, you don't get that i love those "small, stupid things".
I tried, honestly.
It's just...There are no words to explain how i'm feeling right now.
