Can't Have It All

One Job

Odell POV-

"I'm getting frustrated Vic. Like she's not getting it. Like this morning, I tried to kiss her before I left and she like shooed me away."

We were in the locker room changing after practice.

"Like you was a fly?"

"Yes. Like a fucking fly because she was on the phone. Like she does that sometimes but today I was over it. We literally had a conversation the other the day about balance, and you don't even have two seconds to give your man a kiss? I'm over it."

"You got to talk to her man."

"I did Vic. And she not getting it."

He stared at me like he didn't believe me.

"Did you talk to her, talk to her?"

"Yes."

"I'm not talking about you talk to her. She starts crying and you say don't cry baby we cool. I mean like did you ignore that emotional stunt women pull to manipulate us and lay down the fucking law?"

"I mean yeah but..."

Vic looked at me like come on man.

"She started crying and I couldn't take it."

He laughed and shook his head.

"Her tears are sincere Vic."

"If you say so."

"They are."

"Does she cry every time you have an argument and she's in the wrong?"

"Not all the time."

"But most of time?"

I thought about it and shook my head.

"She's bamboozling you bruh. She know if she cry, you gon back up off her."

"Vic she been through a lot. Her mother dying. Her dad not there. And we still young trying to figure life out on our own. Well more so her. I have to be understanding."

"Let me ask you a question. If someone  let's say beats you up. And then you beat me up. Does it make it okay because you did the same thing to me, someone did to you?"

"No but she's not beating me up Vic."

"But she treating you like shit. And using excuses as to why it's okay. Wrong is wrong. I don't care your fucking background. We all go through shit. I'm pretty sure you went through shit too. That's no reason to treat niggas bad."

I sighed.

"You got to talk to her man. Ignore the tears. Talk to her and let her know. Otherwise, you just gon be unhappy. If you was treating Kenya like how she is treating you, every woman in America would cuss you out. Saying she needed to leave. Let a woman be engaged two years without the man marrying her, she'd be the butt of all types of jokes. And the man would be all type of no good niggas."

"You right." I sighed.

"Just talk to her and be real. Tell her exactly how you feel. And don't fall for the tears. Man the fuck up. We don't fall victim to no woman." He punched me my arm.

"I got you." I laughed.

-----

"K we need to talk." I came in her home office I had built for her, so she would have space work when she moved in with me.

I'm just throwing that in there so you know this doesn't have shit to do with me not supporting her.

The house we live in is mine, but I added her name to the deed. I pay all the bills, so she's free to use her money on her business.

And I want to take care of her so it doesn't bother me. Just keep all this in mind, before you say I don't believe in her dreams. I want her to he successful. I just want to feel like her partner. Not like another task to get done in a to do list.

She was on her computer.

"One sec baby let me finish this up."

"No, K now." I said leaning against the door.

"It'll only take a few more minutes."

"I don't give a fuck. We need to talk."

She looked up startled by my anger. "Okay. What's wrong?"

"I need you to come over here because I want you to hear and see I'm playing."

She got up and stood in front of me. "What did I do baby?" I saw the panic in her chest and face. She was breathing rapidly.

I peered down on her. "K if I treated you, how you treat me, you would have been gone. It is unacceptable that I am repeatedly put on a back burner. You keep making me wait about the baby. You keep making me wait for the wedding.

We went three months without making love because you were so busy and even though it was extremely hard for me, I loved you so fucking much I dealt with it. Even when women were around me, wanting me. You couldn't even take two secs to kiss me this morning. K, I love you but I'm tired. I'm tired. And if you can't make room for me in your life, I'm just going to remove myself."

"I'm sorry baby. I'm trying. I didn't know you were feeling like this. I'm so horrible. It's just dealing with my mother's death. Trying to make her proud. And being so young I just..." She broke down.

"I don't know what I would do without you O. And I thought about that this morning when Cam only had the 15th open and I called and begged him to work something out so I could be there for you at LSU. But I'll try harder. I just don't want to lose you baby. I'll die. You're all I have." She grabbed around my waist and cried on my chest. "I love you so much baby."

I turned away. I was trying to not pay attention to the tears. But the way my heart set up. I mean I got her on my back for Christsake. 🙄

I wrapped my arms around her and patted her back.

"Baby just make me feel like I matter that's all. I know you trying and I'm going to work with you. But just do little stuff aight?"

"Yeah. Love you baby." She kissed me.

"Love you more." I kissed her forehead and rolled my eyes.

I had one job and I failed.  Imagine if I have a daughter. These niggas will run me all over me. 😩