Can't Have It All

Going It Alone

Kenya POV-

I looked at the clock. It was 12 in the afternoon. The game started at 12. And they were going to honor him, during half-time.

I had today planned perfectly. Start the shoot at 3am. That way, I would be done to meet him before the game. But what would a day be, without not going according to plan.

Cam's flight got cancelled due to some sort of computer glitch with Delta airlines. He got a flight through American but it just got him here at 11. We hadn't even started the shoot yet.

We were still in prepping him. Cam
Had to get a flight out by 3pm, because the Panthers had a game tomorrow. I had hired staff for this shoot and I just couldn't call it off.

That would mean, we would lose money and I had a deadline with Target I had to meet by next week to provide them with the marketing materials.

It was all a mess. A mess.

My whole body froze as I felt my phone ring. I was stuck. Unsure of what to do. Caught between my dreams and my heart. And I had a decision to make. This is what Shonda Rhimes talked about something and someone must lose in your quest for success. Today I had to choose who.

I sighed and turned off my phone without even looking at it. Then got up to get to work.

Odell POV-

"It is with great pleasure that LSU honors Mr. Odell Beckham Jr for his extraordinary contribution not only to the National Football League, but to the LSU Tigers." My coach said into the mic.

I smiled as I looked around the stadium. Thousands had shown up to support me. Cheering. Wearing their 13 jerseys. I had my mom, dad and siblings here. Some of my Giants teammates flew down including Vic. Brandon, Justin  and Jussie were here.

I took Justin up there with me and held him in my arms. 

My friends I had met along the way
Were there.

But out of everyone that came, though my outward shine, my inner broke because my 1 was not there.

I was done. Just over it. I realized I had overstayed my welcome in her life far too long. She was never really into me from the beginning. I always felt like I was forcing myself on her. Begging her to love me. No matter what I did to prove I was a good man. I was down for her. She never took that as a cue to love me back, but to not appreciate me even further.

I could deal with it in college, but now I was a grown ass man who needed a life partner.

I wasn't wasting any more time in a situation I wasn't wanted.

"Odell you have something to say." My coach asked as I looked around at the thousands of people standing on their feet for me as he handed me the plaque they had made for me, along with my LSU jersey framed.

"I want to first thank God, for just never giving up on me. Even when I gave up on myself. My friends and family that are here. My mom and dad that paved the way. My teammates. My godson, I kissed Justin's cheek that reminds me of my self. And just each and everyone of you for coming out here today to support me and the Tigers. Let my life be a testament that if you have a dream, don't stop until you reach. Thank you all."

The crowed clapped and so did Justin. I smiled at him and let him hold my plaque.

For the first time in a long time, I would be both my 1 and 3. And I didn't know what the future would bring, but I was done with being put last.

Me and Jus walked off the field.  I sighed. Hello new life.

Kenya POV-

I walked in to laughs and a good time.

"Sorry everybody Cam's flight got cancelled and he had to get a new flight. And today was all we had because they have a game tomorrow." I looked at O's family and friends all sitting down at his favorite seafood restaurant.

It became dead silent as people ate looking at each other and not me, then back at their food.

Odell was at the head of the table and didn't look up. He just kept eating.

"Auntie K." Justin ran up to me.

"Hey baby." I smiled brightly and picked him up and held him close.

I looked over at Brandon and even he was avoiding looking at me.

"Baby I got you..." I put Jus down and tried to hand O my gift.

"Leave." O simply said eating.

I looked around the table everybody was avoiding looking at me.

"Odell I'm sorry baby I..."

"Get out." Odell looked at me.

I looked around the room for back up. There was none. Not even Brandon.

"Can we talk."

"I have nothing to talk about. You said everything you needed to say loud and clear when you didn't show up."

"I tried explaining to you..."

"That's all you do K. Explain, apologize and cry. I'm done. But before you go, give me back my ring."

"It's mine O. I'm not..."

He got up and got in my face. "Legally the ring is mine. Ain't that right Tom."

He asked his lawyer that was sitting at the table.

"It is."  Tom
Said real quick and started back eating.

I looked in O's eyes. Eyes that had just looked in mine with all the love in the world yesterday. The love was gone. It was nothing but anger and coldness.

I took off the ring and gave it to him.

He snatched it and sat back down.

I stayed there a minute as my eyes filled with tears.  Hoping he would change his mind.

"Odell I need you. I have nobody you know that." I broke down.

He ignored me. He wasn't changing his mind. I decided to not make myself look stupid any further. I left.

And as I reached the door, laughs and conversation continued as if I didn't exist.

I broke down when I got in the parking lot. I was now facing life alone.