Can't Have It All

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Shep POV-

I woke up and sent Kenya text.

What's important to Deanna?

I yawned and stretched. My phone started to buzz.

What you mean?

Since she answered I decided to call instead.

She picked up.

"What's up?" She said.

"You around O?" I said not really wanting to be bothered with him.

"Nah. He sleep. I'm feeding Livy."

"Thank God." I wiped the imaginary sweat from my forehead. "What type of stuff she like? I wanna get her a going away gift."

"Uh...she likes, like make up stuff. Fashion and beauty stuff is her thing."

"What's like a good a place to go?"

"Sephora. They got one on Kent."

"I just walk in there and say make up stuff. And they'll know?"

"Shep." She said annoyed.

"What? I don't but gifts. I give gifts if you know what I mean."

"Anyway, just ask them if they have like gift sets or something and get one."

"Aight. Thanks."

"Mm-hm. She told me what you said yesterday, I appreciate you for being honest."

"Yeah, I wouldn't lead her on like that. But like I told her, I do want to be friends and that was genuine."

"Well I appreciate it. And she'll appreciate the gift."

"Aight. Let me go to Sephora and get ready."

"Aight."

We hung up and I got up.

I took my shower, washed my face, brushed my teeth. Got dressed, fed my dog Mason and headed out.

I had a sense Deanna liked me, but I wasn't too sure until yesterday. One thing you'll learn about me is I'm quite honest and straight forward. Which is why I asked did she.

And when I got a sense that she did, I let her know I was not in the boyfriend business right now. Not that I didn't think she wasn't beautiful. She was.

I just know me. And she seems like a beautiful girl inside and out, and I never want to be the cause of heart break. Especially her being really young.

I have two sisters, and I know how heavily girls internalize stuff. And Ive seen my sisters be extremely hurt over dudes and one commitment I made was to be honest with the women I am involved with.

Let them know from the jump what it is. I believe at most they deserve that honesty. So you know exactly what you're getting. And any miscommunication from there is on you.

I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or wife at this point. I was just trying to enjoy both my career and my life. I wasn't exclusive with anybody. No titles. No commitments.

But with Anna, she had a really innocent spirit. And I wasn't interested in leading her down that path. I respected O too much to do that, and I respected her.

But I did honestly and genuinely want to be friends. And it wasn't out of sympathy either. She seemed really sweet. And I liked being around her energy.