Do You Want Me (Dead) (Jalex)

Chapter 6 (A Nightmare Away)

Chapter 6

A Nightmare Away

Jack

I immediately began to cry when I realized it was all really happening as we rode down the dirt road with rocks being kicked up by the van's tires. Zack had jumped next to me in the very back while I stared at the distancing mall through the dark windows with my knees pulled to my chest rocking back and forth slightly.

When I calmed myself down, enough to breathe correctly for a moment, Love piped up trying to sound as sympathetic as possible, "Alex didn't want to come, Jack."

Zack searched the van for Rian who shrugged with his arms crossed and a look of guilt starting to fill his eyes.

"W-why?!" I finally said through choked sobs.

Love seemed surprised. She sighed and shot me an unsure look, like she was debating whether to tell me the truth or not, "H-he said... He didn't w-want to come because of you..."

I cringed at that and Zack slowly wrapped his arms around me with comfort, but I pushed it away and shook my head violently. Shy sighed from the passenger seat,

"He told me he was coming. Why is he such a fuck all the time? What did you even do to him, Jack?"

I just shrugged at her question, but I knew exactly what I did.

"He seemed really pissed when I talked to him." Zack observed.

"Every time I mentioned Jack he seemed mad." Love said less sympathetic.

"I-I really p-pissed him off?" I cried.

Everyone fell silent. Even though no one answered, I knew it was true, and my sobs grew inside my throat so big that I couldn't swallow them back down this time. Zack sat back and looked me up and down as I pulled my knees further into my chest and choked loudly.

Rian sighed and averted his eyes from me as he said, "Something you said had him messed up. He was asking me about your feelings and shit then went into a psychopathic rampage in the storage room."

My crying didn't stop, as much as I tried to force down the on-coming chokes, my tears still fell and rolled off my cheeks.

Alex is alone. I thought.

There was a deep guilty feeling rumbling in my gut and I knew then I should have stayed after all. What would he do when he saw all of us gone? I knew Love had left him enough supplies to last him a whole month on his own, maybe even two if he was careful, but what would he do? Alex hated being alone, and being alone in the zombie apocalypse was terrifying. Even bulky muscle-head Zack would agree to that.

Everyone seemed to keep an eye on me and I tried my best to ignore the sad stared, as much as it bothered me, and when my frustrating inner voice got the best of me and I looked up they all looked away, besides Rian. He furrowed his brow and kept a tight grip around himself but a small sympathetic smile spread across his face showing off his sparkling white teeth slightly, and I knew he was just as upset about leaving Alex as I was and if he wasn't the leader now, he'd sit right beside me and cry his eyes out too. He loved Alex, we all did, and we all felt equally guilty for leaving our childhood friend behind to fend for himself. Fuck, we are such shitty friends. We looked from one another almost to silently say; "He would have never left any of us if he knew we'd be alone." And felt the shame fill our guts, because we knew it was so true.

The only thing that pulled our eyes from each other's was the can coming to a sudden halt and lunging us all forward, then loud thudding from outside the van followed by moans and the van repetitively being rocked.

"What's happening Cole?!" Rian jumped to his feet to investigate.

Cole was silent with a strong grip on the steering wheel. Finally with he looked up to a terrified Rian and with a shaky voice breathed, "I-it's stuck..."

Rian shook his head and grabbed Cole by the collar of his shirt to pull him out of the driver's seat and sit himself in his place. He mashed on the breaks earing a loud VROOM but no motion.

Mud went flying onto the now emerging zombies and the tinted glass. The zombies quickly recovered and went back to groaning and jolting each other into the van.

"Riii!" I cried looking from the zombies banging against the back window, slowly but surely, cracking it slightly with the force to him in the front seat. He glanced back then quickly slammed on the gas again earning another mud sling to the growing crowd behind.

Love rushed to Shy who was seeming to be having a panic attack and tried to give her breathing lessons while not becoming frantic herself. Zack was looking from Rian, to Cole, to me quickly becoming distraught as the van refused to budge one more inch. Cole seemed completely lost. He stared into the wall of the van, almost as if he had forgot where we were and what was happening. He was too out of it to even answer Rian's agitated calls.

Rian violently shifted the gear to reverse and mashed on the gas sending the van into a sudden jolt backwards and bumping a few zombies to the ground. He groaned impatiently when it came to yet another stop and lunged the shot the stick forward to drive. The van moved forward and continued. Rian yelled a triumphal and relieved, "Yes!" as Love cheered.

"That was too close." Zack whispered glancing back at me.

I nodded and shy breathed out her agreements shakily.

"I know." Rian said looking up at the rear-view mirror at the slow scattering zombies. "We've gotta stop soon. No more dirt roads while it's raining."

No one spoke against him. Rian had to be the leader now, no doubt. What would Alex think of that? What would he do? Would he even argue? Or would he even have let us get stuck? I thought back to what was now yesterday, seeing it was 12:45 a.m., when Alex had told me he didn't want to lead anymore. If that was true, was that another reason he stayed?

Love, Rian, and Shy went on to discuss where we'd stop for the night. They talked about a motel not far from where we were already and suggested that. Rian glanced into the rear-view mirror and it wasn't until he said my name did I realize he was looking at me.

"Where do you think we should stay?"

I was extremely caught off guard by his sudden interest in what I thought about anything.

"Uh, Disney World, man." I smiled slightly at the thought of Disney World, but it quickly faded at the thought of Alex (since he was the one who took me of course!) and how we had left him.

That red hot feeling of guilt crept up my spine and seemed to sink into my stomach making me feel nauseous. Rian chuckled and nodded, "Disney World would sound great compared to the day I've had so far."

"It's only 12:50 a.m.!" Love cried. "And we've already been attacked by monsters!"

I nodded.

"I could go for some teacup riding right now." Zack chirped quietly.

I laughed. It felt good to laugh, but it quickly faded when I realized Alex would have found something witty to say to that. I tried to shake him from my thoughts and participate in the others' zombie-Disney jokes but I found it difficult. Nothing felt right without Alex.