Hide Your Love Away: book two

Chapter 14

(Pru)

Right now I am in the kitchen of our tell, with permission from the owners, making a cake for tomorrow. Tomorrow is their last day of filming and they just two scenes left; also tomorrow is Paul's birthday. I know he's still upset about our little one and so I want to surprise him. I talked to Brian and he thinks its a great idea.  The cast and crew for the film isn't to big in numbers so I am making three chocolate swirl  cheesecakes decorated with Paul's favorite mars bars. 

I hear someone come into the kitchen and look up to see a tired face, "Hello George." I look up at him. "What are you doing down here?" 

"Couldn't sleep, wanted some tea or something."  I put a kettle on the stove and start boiling some water. "So we haven't really had a chance to talk since you got out of the hospital."

"George...we don't have to. Lucy told me how hard you took it, you don't have to say anything.  You would have made a great uncle and she would have loved you and Lucy the most." his eyes get watery. 

"Did she tell you I... I cut myself again. I couldn't even be strong for myself and I wanted  to be strong for me and your sister... I'm so sorry that happened Prudence I'm so infuriated that someone as kind as you could have so many bad things happen." The past little while I've learned to look at George as a brother. Me and him are the same age, we have had similar struggles, and we both are in love and want to be strong for the other person. 

"We have to trust Paul and Lucy can be strong for themselves and will be okay if we are only strong enough for us for a while. I know you and I have a lot of life and fight left, that's why I'm not letting this get to me no matter how much I want to cry myself to sleep every-night. No matter how many times I think about how it's not fair that my life was more important than that little girls..."  

I start crying for the first time since I lost Julia, "I was so used to having a life inside of me and now there's nothing." I hold my necklace tightly. "I know all of this will make sense one day but for now I have to stay strong... but George it's hard and I can't let Paul see me hurting. I'm afraid...George I really am what if I'm just not meant to be a mom."  I feel Georges arms around me and my ear is against his chest. His hearts beating fast. 

"You are Pru... I have no doubt that you will be a mother with a dozen kids one day and just as many grand kids and you and Paul will have an amazing little family. Let me help you finish this, it looks amazing." He says calming me down. This boy really is perfect for my Lucy Lu. 

I finish making us tea and he helps me decorate the cakes and put them in the fridge. We sit for a while and talk drinking our tea and eating the left over decorations and batter. Then we  go back up to our hotel rooms and he hugs me in the hallway. "Thank's for being a friend George. I don't feel like I have many. I know the band and Lucy Dylan and Anna are my friends but we're all so obsessed with each other that there's no friendship left. Even Paul... I love him and we used to talk but it's like we've fallen into a routine. I need something new with everyone..." He smiles at me. "You're like my twin brother George, I feel connected to you and I'm so glad."

"Me too twin." He smiles and I hug him, "I love you sister."