"Well, now GifClan is dead," Datboi muttered to himself, looking across the clearing of deceased cats. A grin started to spread across his face. "They're. . . they're actually dead! Pepestar, I'm the real leader now! I defeated our enemies."
A small brown-furred tom got to his paws. Instead of the normal pointed ears of a cat, he had circular ears perched on the curves of his head. His claws were long and visible, and his paws were much larger than those of a kit. That must be Lananope and Grumpywhisker's kit, he thought, recalling the GifClan deputy's description of Derpkit.
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Datboi leaned over to Filmerpaw, point his tail at Derpkit. "That thing does not look like a cat, if you catch my drift," he muttered, glancing slyly around.
"Damn, Datboi," Filmerpaw whispered back. "Back at it again with those accurate predictions."
Jacobshirt was standing at the top of the Clan rock, his eyes closed as he sang loudly. His meow was still ringing through the clearing, sending waves of pain through the still-living cats' bodies.
"The Tribe of Awful Internet Jokes is something. . . special," Cenaclaw meowed, whiskers twitching slightly. His paws were still placed on top of his years.
Jacobshirt, finished with his song, jumped off the speaking rock and tossed his shirt into the crowd of dead cats. Datboi cringed, covering his eyes to preserve his innocence. "Well, I guess y'all are done with your war thing now!" the Tribe of Awful Internet Jokes tom meowed brightly.
"Yeah, let's get out of here!" Darudestorm meowed eagerly.
Datboi pointed his tail at the still-living Derpkit. "Uh, should we just slit his throat or something?" he asked the other cats. "I don't want to deal with having a living GifClan cat left."
Moonmoon gasped, shock lighting her expression. "How dare you!" the medicine cat hissed. "We don't murder cats just to murder them! We murder them for practical purposes, duh!"
"Jacobshirt's—" Datboi protested, but he was interrupted by Moonmoon.
"—Jacobshirt's singing is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard! He's better that my Bieber precious, so don't you insult his beautiful words," the she-cat hissed. The sound of her pathetically short claws unsheathing was audible to Datboi; the green-furred warrior
Jacobshirt gave newly-appointed MemeClan warrior a triumphant smile.
"He also killed an entire Clan," the green cat protested, resisting the urge to pull out his unicycle and run over the shirtless Jacobshirt. "Minus one cat." He glanced sideways at Derpkit, who was pawing at Lananope's body.
"Well it was still beauitful singing," Moonmoon sniffed. "And it was an accident, right Jacobshirt?"
The Tribe cat shifted awkwardly on his paws, avoiding the MoonClan cat's face. "Of course! I mean, I know my truly beautiful singing is, and I know that is can have some. . . uh, negative side effects based on the beauty of my singing. But my singing never kills!"
Moonmoon grinned. "See?" she mewed pointedly. "He didn't mean to kill them!"
Datboi rolled his eyes. "Let's get out of here, then."
Cenaclaw looked skeptical. "Jacobshirt. . . didn't you just say your singing doesn't kill?"
Jacobshirt nodded. "Yep. It only temporarily shatters eardrums. Since my beautiful singing becomes the last words they hear, the deafened cats learn to love my singing, which, in turn, heals their eardrums."
"I don't know how they don't love it in the first place!" Moonmoon added empathetically, her tail dragging along Jacobshirt's spine and a purr erupted from her throat.
Datboi resisted the urge to gag as he turned away, facing Cenaclaw. "So they're all still alive," he meowed plainly. The other tom nodded slowly. "Which means that we failed at our assignment."
"We need to get back to FanClan and tell them that their plan failed," sighed Darudestorm.
