Find The Beauty Within

The Thought Of Her

Dinah pov

  "A camera is a save button for the mind's eye." -Roger Kingston

that day is something that I can't process. a melanin girl called me beautiful even if she was just a stranger. not once have I ever been called beautiful except when my best friends tell me I am. they're just forced to say it because they're my friends. I'm not actually beautiful. in my mind, I ached for the moment to actually see her again but I know that it's never going to happen. she's a photographer who will explore just to capture pictures. I'm just a nobody that everyone hates.

"Dinah?" a soft voice calls, entering my dark room.

I look up from my curled up position by my windowsill and turned to my side. it was Lauren. I exhaled and returned back to my position, as I looked out the window. I rested my arms on my knees and my chin rested on my arms. a couple minutes went by, before Lauren decided to break the silence.

"Dinah, talk to me. you haven't spoken about the beach ever since you got back a couple days ago."

she reaches out to rub my arm but I move away. her hand lingers in the air before she retracts it and takes a deep breath, letting her head drop down. it was raining. I watched as the water hit my window making a rhythmic pattern. it soothed me. I look away from the window to look over at Lauren, who ran a hand through her hair mumbling something incoherent.

"have you ever seen someone so beautiful that you wish you could see them again?" I asked quietly.

Lauren's head snapped up and looked at me with wide eyes. I shift out of my position to sit criss-crossed as I faced her. she reached out for my hand and held it in hers. her left hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"D, what happened at the beach?"

I looked up to find her eyes searching through mine to see if there was anything missing. I averted my eyes down to my lap, where our hands were entwined. it's now or never. I took a deep breath before looking up at Lauren.

"there was this dark skinned girl, who was taking pictures. I was looking out into the waves to clear my thoughts when all of a sudden I heard a flash. I turned back to see her. I asked her what she was doing and she called me beautiful. Laur, she called me beautiful and I didn't want to get attached to her. she'd find out what's wrong and she'd leave. who would want to be with me if they knew my past?"

Lauren pulls me to her and wraps her arms around me . I lay my head on her shoulder as she strokes my hair. I could feel my breath hitch in the back of my throat and my vision get blurry. I was about to cry. something that I've always done because I'm just a weak and pathetic girl. I hear the door open and a pair of arms wrap around me. the smell of bananas filled my nose and I knew exactly who it was.

"I don't know what happened but just know I'm here for you, cheechee."

I stayed in their embrace for a little bit before they pulled apart from me. Camila wiped away the tears that were still falling. she kissed my head before pulling me into a hug.

"camz, what are you doing here?"

Camila pulls away from me and I look at Camila then to Lauren.

"I came to tell you two that dinner is done. then I thought that maybe we could binge watch our movies."

"how does that sound?" Lauren asked , extending a hand towards me.

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't. my voice gave up on me and I suddenly couldn't breathe. worry crossed their face as Lauren ran out of the room. Camila, shakily, kneeled down and grabbed my hands. I tried to speak but Camila shook her head.

"don't think about it. Lauren's getting your inhaler."

I felt myself getting lightheaded because I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing. that's when Lauren bursted into the room and handed me my inhaler. I quickly put it against my mouth and took a few puffs. when I was done, I exhaled shakily. I looked up at Lauren, who had sweat forming at her hairline and her eyebrows. she was out of breath too.

"I'm sorry that I'm such an annoyance." I said, meekly.

"don't say that. we're here for you and we understand. you're our best friend and we're not about to leave you because you need help."

"I didn't ask to be like this."

"we know Dinah. we're sorry that you had to go through that alone."

they tried to pull me into a hug but I put my hands out preventing them from doing so. they gave me a confused stare but I shook my head and stood up.

"dinner is getting cold and I'm hungry. I don't think I've eaten all day."

"you've been cooped up in this dark room so of course you haven't." Camila joked.

I gave a small smile before walking downstairs. I hated the fact that I needed help but at the same time, I'm glad to have people there for me when no one else would. I met these two in middle school and they figured me out. they saw right through me and stayed with me when everyone else would have left. they chose to stay and I'm eternally grateful to have them. I just wish that they didn't have to spend so much time with me. they think that something will happen to me so Lauren watches me during the night and Camila watches me during the day.

after dinner, Lauren goes to work but it's a weekend so i have both of them. I feel bad that they had to change the times they go to work because of me. I know that they're exhausted from taking care of me. once I finished my dinner, I stood up and asked to help with the dishes. Lauren gives me a nod and smiles at me.

"you sure you don't want to help Camila out with the snacks?"

"I want to help with dishes since I always help Camila with the snacks. I want to feel like I'm of help."

Lauren puts the dish she was washing down and dries her hand with a paper towel. she puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye.

"you are of help. sure it gets tiring but you're our main priority. your happiness is our happiness. so don't ever think you aren't of any help because you help us out more than you know. now let's go finish these dishes so we can watch."

I genuinely smiled at her and we began to finish the dishes. when we were done, we went to the living room to find Camila eating popcorn and The Incredibles playing. we took a seat on either side of her and began to take some popcorn. Camila had all the snacks and drinks set up. I smiled at my two friends and turned my attention to the tv. they took my mind off the one thing that has been bugging me.

will I ever see her again?

A/N: second chapter is done. happy to have thenotsocoolweirdo help me out with this. I hope you guys like it.
peace out -Jesselle aka nala aka Jesselle_Loves_You