Find The Beauty Within

The Date

Dinah pov

"don't shoot what it looks like, shoot what it feels like." -David Alan Harvey

today was the day that Normani takes me out. I have no idea what's planned for us but I know that if she knew what was happening within me then she wouldn't be with me anymore. that's the price I have to pay because I've lost too many people over my situation. Camila and Lauren are the only ones to stay. I'm not even close to my family. they're doing well.

"you look beautiful." Lauren said, making me jump.

I looked back into the mirror and straightened out the dress. I was nervous because this will the first time that I ever showed my bare arms. I also wore long sleeves for a reason and I'm afraid Normani won't like me because of what I do. I look down at my arms and trace the lines. it helped comfort me but I have tried not to cut in awhile. Lauren and Camila made sure of it.

"will she love me and my scars?" I asked softly.

"she'd be an idiot if she didn't. just because you have scars doesn't mean that you're not lovable. I'm not a fan of you going out with her even though you barely know her. you don't have to tell her the whole story but just keep yourself guarded. I don't want you to end up getting hurt when she decides that she can't be with a girl that has a nasty past."

"should I find another dress then? one with long sleeves?"

Lauren chuckles softly as she shakes her head. she gently grabbed my wrist and made me turn around so I was facing her. my hands in hers as she looks into my eyes.

"Dinah, you are beautiful. you think that camz and I say it because we have to but truth is, we don't. we genuinely mean it. I don't know how you can't see it but we sure as hell can. don't be self conscious about you and your body. they're both amazing. if you want, text camz to come pick you up if you feel uncomfortable. she'll be there as soon as possible."

I nod my head and she pulls me into a hug. when we pulled apart, she looked down at her watch and her face changed. I felt my stomach turn. was I ready to be having this date with a stranger that I met about two weeks ago?

I took a deep breath as Lauren walked with me towards the front door. Camila wasn't home yet because the meeting she's having is running longer than expected. I shakily opened the door to find Normani about to knock. she looked beautiful and her mouth was slightly opened when I opened the door. her fist in a ball when she was about to knock still in the air as her eyes roamed my body. Lauren cleared her throat and I was thankful. she shot me a nod and Normani quickly fixed herself up. she cleared her throat before extending a hand out. I hesitantly grab it as she lead me to her car.

I gave Lauren one last look before I got in the car. she was smiling at me but I knew deep down she despised this. Normani put the car in drive and headed towards a place she likes. the car filled in silence as I played with the hem of my dress nervously.

"you look beautiful." her soft but low voice said, making me have chills.

"t-thanks. y-you too."

I looked down at my arms to see my scars. they were fading but it was still visible. she hasn't seen them yet and I'm thankful for that because I don't know how I would answer that. I looked out the window and tried to cover my arms by wrapping them around my waist. I didn't want her to see even though she'll eventually see them and ask questions.

a couple minutes passed by and we were finally at the place we were going to be eating at. it happened to be Hard Rock Cafe. when we were seated, the waitress was checking Normani out and I felt jealous. I know that she's beautiful but her attention was just on Normani. like I'm here too. so I just sat there quickly and watched the interaction between Normani and the waitress. I took out a pen from my shirt pocket and grabbed a napkin. I wrote down my order and slid it in front of Normani. she looked confused but it went away when the waitress asked what she wanted to order. before she left, her eyes flickered in my direction. I saw her roll her eyes before walking away. I'm not comfortable with this at all.

"I don't want to be here anymore. it's not that I want to get out of this date, it's just I'm not comfortable with it. the waitress is paying more attention to you then she is for me."

"she was just making a polite conversation."

"with just you. she didn't glance my way until she left and she rolled her eyes. I really don't want to be here if I'm just going to be treated like I'm not even here."

"Dinah," Normani said, grabbing my wrist before I left. "please stay. I won't let her talk to me again."

I took a deep breath. did I really want to stay or should I leave? would I even get my order or drink? if I don't, I'm just going to be angry and leave. like I don't deserve to be treated like this and with all my insecurities, what would make it worse is if Normani does nothing about it. that's when I'll know that this whole thing was a mistake. I decided to stay and then the waitress came back with a Coke and water. there should be been two cokes.

"Ashley, I asked for two cokes."

"oh I'm sorry, I thought you ordered water." she said, looking at me with an unamused smile.

she took the water and grumpily walked off muttering curse words under her breath. I heard her call me a stupid ass bitch but I tried not to let it get to me. that's what people want to do. they want to break you and win.

"are you okay?"

"not at all. I shouldn't have said yes to your question. as much as I wanted to see you, this isn't right. I'm being treated like I'm invisible."

before she could answer, the food arrived. I frowned because it was just Normani who got food. I clenched my hands together and walked out of the restaurant. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Camila's number. tears were threatening to pass my waterline. I blinked it away but it ended up falling and as soon as she answered, I broke out into tears. all I could hear from her was that she's coming to get me. I put my phone back in my pocket as I found a bench to sit on. I pulled my legs close to my chest and rested my head on my knees as I continued to cry.

"I'm sorry that we didn't get to eat."

I looked up at her with red eyes before wiping away my tears.

"you got your food. I didn't but that's no big deal."

"no it's a big deal. I asked you on this date to have you feel like you're invisible then the waitress acted like you weren't there. after finding out that she had my order made, I went up to the manager and demanded a refund because the service was terrible. I'm not eating unless you eat. look , I get your insecure but why do you cut? do you feel like you're worthless?"

"why do you care?"

"Dinah , just stop. I know I barely know you but the truth is, I want to learn more about you. which means your past and why you are insecure. you are the most beautiful girl and I don't know how you can't see that. I can look past the scars on your arms because I know that they aren't recent. you've been trying not to cut even when you are tempted. I want to know your whole story Dinah."

"you shouldn't. just stop talking to me because of you knew the real me, you wouldn't want to be with me. so I'm doing you a favor by telling you to stay away from me. I'm not worth anything. I'm just a nobody that no one seems to notice. bye Normani."

I got up to walk to Camila's car that just pulled up. just as I looked back, I heard her whisper something. it was barely audible but somehow I was able to hear it.

"you don't understand how much I'm already invested in you."

A/N: fourth chapter is done. Junior year stated on August 3 for me so I may not be able to post as much but I will do my best to. this book is honestly something I'm really happy about because it was just an idea that me and simba did within 10 minutes. it's pretty cool on how we think alike at times. -nala💜