Find The Beauty Within

Moving On

Normani's POV

"To me, photography is an art of observation. It's about finding something interesting in an ordinary place... I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them." -Elliott Erwitt.

"Are you okay?" Zendaya asked, pulling me out of my thoughts of the woman I still saw as a Goddess.

Months. Two months of not having Dinah in my life, but there was nothing I could do. When she ended...things with me, every bone in my body was screaming to fight for her, but my heart and mind were in agreement that it would do no justice. Dinah was a stubborn woman, and no amount of begging and pleading would change her mind. It was over between us, and she didn't want the things I wanted. We weren't on the same page, but I couldn't do a thing about it. I wanted to text her back, to force her to tell me why she was ending things, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Instead, I sank to my knees and balled my eyes out while Ally comforted me. The next day, Zendaya noticed what was wrong, and I broke down again, telling her all that had happened between Dinah and I. From then on, Zendaya became my rock, helping me move on from Dinah.

I hadn't meant to be so rude to the girl that broken my heart, but it just happened. My heart broke at the sight of the pure pain on her face when I spoke, telling me that I was going overboard — but my head felt differently, arguing that Dinah deserved five minutes of pain for the months of pain she put me through.

"Just fine," I breathed, searching for her hand in comfort. "Just fine."

"Mani," she spoke softly, cradling my hand in her own. "I know you're not. It's okay to be upset. She hurt you."

I nodded, gulping harshly. "You're right, she did. But I don't want to think about it. I want to think about how happy you make me."

"I can see that she still means a lot to you."

"You're wrong, Daya. She means nothing to me now," I lied, shocking myself by how convincing I sounded. Dinah should have meant nothing to me, but she was everything I wanted. I needed her, but Zendaya was so much safer. The hazel-eyed woman handled my heart with care in a way Dinah hadn't. I had started to fall for Zendaya, which was something I never really imagined myself doing, but I welcomed the feeling with open arms. I didn't mind falling for her, because I knew she wouldn't let me touch the ground.

    "You're my everything now," I told her. That was a half lie. She wasn't my everything, but part of me felt that in due time, she would be.

The smile she rewarded me with, made my heart flutter as per usual. Lately, things with Zendaya had been escalating. My feelings for her were developing quickly, and I knew I loved her. It was weird, because even though I would say I loved Zendaya, my feelings for Dinah were much stronger, but I didn't love her. I couldn't have. We were never even officially together.

"I love you, Mani," she told me for the umpteenth time.

"I love you, too."

Later on that day, after dropping Zendaya off, something in me snapped, and I made my way to Dinah's in haste. I wasn't sure what possessed me to go to her house, but I knew there was one thing I needed to know. One thing that would make everything...official for me. If she answered me honestly, and if it didn't hurt too badly, I would've put it all behind me, because I needed her in my life.

I wasn't sure whether I was grateful or ungrateful that she was the one to open the door, but I knew I was pissed off. So many times before, two months ago when I would knock on her door, she would never answer, but here she was, opening the door with shock evident on her face.

"Why did you do it?" I asked. "And I'm not talking about breaking things off, because I get that much. It's clear when people break up, that they no longer feel the same...but why did you ignore me just to call it off? Why didn't you just do it from the minute you realized I wasn't enough?"

She struggled for words, opening her mouth and shutting it a few times. "I....I don't..really know why...I just...I had to..make sure I did what I wanted."

    "And did you?" I pressed. "Did you do what you wanted? Let me go, let me move on?"

    "Yes," she answered quickly but quietly. "It wasn't going to work, and I think you know that just as much as I do."

    It was my turn to stay silent. She was right. From the beginning she knew it wouldn't have worked out, but I was so set on fighting for what I wanted, that I didn't think about what she wanted. I pushed her. Pushed us. And now we were done.

    As much as I wanted her to feel pain in my absence, she looked much healthier than I last saw her, and I couldn't help but be proud. Proud that she glowed, and proud that she walked confidence. Her body radiated it, it enveloped her, it was apart of her. And I was happy for her. No matter the pain I experienced without her.

    "I see," I mumbled. I inhaled deeply, dragging her scent of Jasmine with me. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake in coming here."

    I turned to leave, but her voice stopped me in my tracks. "Wait! Can we just...can we try to be friends? I want you in my life, Mani."

The nickname was so different coming from her mouth. Zendaya called me Mani, too, but it didn't nearly have the affect that Dinah had on me. But could I be her friend? Could I subject myself to pain just to have her in my life? Would Zendaya help me fully get over her?

"Sure. I'd really like that Dinah."

    Here we go, a lifetime of pain just to be around her whenever we felt like seeing one another.

 

    A/N: This is a short chapter, and I know that, but that's because I'm all written out after updating one of my stories. Lol. But hey, we've gotten big things in store for you guys. *cough cough cough* I wouldn't go anywhere if I were you. Enjoy your day.
                  -Simba The Penguin 😋