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Chapter thirty four

I wake at dawn, like always and like every other morning I roll over to find my Angel and like every other morning I don't find her. I feel like I'm dying without her, and I can't take anymore. It's been two weeks since I saw her face, two weeks without touching her or hearing her voice.
I don't even know if she's okay.
Today is move day, I exchange on the apartment tomorrow and everything needs to be out today. The truck will be here in an hour and I need to go get my spare key from Beth.
Yes that is my excuse to see her and I'm sticking to it.
The only contact we have had is when she finally destroyed all hope of her coming back to me, I open my phone to torture myself again. I read the message I sent her on the Monday after she left me.

Angel tell me you're okay, I
don't need anything more than
that. I won't come around if I
know that you're okay, if you
don't reply I'm coming looking
for you. I can't function without
you and not knowing if you took the
test. Please just give me something,
I miss you so much, are we
pregnant honey?

Her reply was almost instant and I wondered if she was waiting for me but as I read her words my world stopped spinning.

Please don't come looking for me
I'm fine, you need to move on. I
didn't need to take the test after all.
You're off the hook Masters, no baby.

Just like that she left me with nothing, no Angel, no baby, no family just a big old empty house and a fucking broken heart

Fucking crushed 💔

She had taken everything from me and gave me one word to make up for it.

Sorry.

She's fucking sorry?
Even my baby sister won't answer my calls, I've tried to find out if Beth's okay from her but she won't talk to me either.
Well today that changes, I have to see her. I release Beth's pillow from my death grip and drag my sorry ass into the shower, I still hear her heavy breathing and soft cries, I still feel the sting of her nails in my hair from the last time we were in here. I miss her smile and her cheeky giggles. I miss her lips, her fucking kisses. Tears mix with the water as I hold my head under the spray.
Nobody kisses like Elizabeth.
Is she kissing him like that? Does she call him into the shower before work? I need to move on?
How the fuck do I do that?!
How did she? I was the man of her dreams, I was the love of her life she fucking told me so. I need her to tell me how she did it because I can't live like this, fucking move on? I can't even breathe without her and she wants me to fuck someone else?
She wants me to replace her? Take another woman into the house I bought for her? Lay her down in a bed I bought for us, in a room she designed? I don't fucking think so. Did she not hear me when I said there would be no next girl? I'm fucking done, Beth was it, she has my heart.
I need to control my anger, if I'm going to see her I can't be angry again. The image of her cowering from me is all I see when I close my eyes.
I shut off the water and step into my closet, everything but one outfit is packed up and I slip on my jeans and black tee, the one Beth was wearing our last night together. The one she wore over her sexy underwear she left on because I asked her to, she was sick and scared out of her mind, she was exhausted but she wanted to please me anyway. How do you go from that to we're fucking done in fucking fourteen hours? I just need to understand because I can't make sense of anything.
I wear too much cologne, and I play with my hair too much. I want to win her back, I don't care some other motherfucker has been balls deep in my woman.
She is mine, she fucking told me so!!
I wear the jeans she liked my ass in the night before the wedding, the blush on her cheeks when she told me was so fucking beautiful.

I can't eat so I sit and drink too much coffee and stare at the photo of Beth kissing my face when I asked her to marry me, when she wore my ring, when she smiled like she wanted to say yes.
I actually thought she would, was she kissing him before I asked her? Before I told our families I wanted a forever with her? Was I just so stupid not to see it? Or did I not want to?
My phone rings and the photo is replaced by Coop's, I don't answer. I can't, I don't know if Beth has talked to them but if I tell them she left then it's real. I text him when it stops telling him I'm okay, everything is fine I just can't talk right now. I know I will have to soon or they will come back to check on me, I could really use my girl right now but she is on her honeymoon. She doesn't need me. I really need to hug my boy but I won't, Cole is fucking sick of standing in for his brother and refuses to stand within arms reach of me. If it wasn't so fucked up it would be funny.