Abused(On Hold)

Chapter 18

              When I woke up I was tied to the rocking chair in my living room. I didn't see the kids anywhere and to make matters worse I can't hear them either. I struggled to get out of the binds that held my feet and hands, but they would not  budge. I tried harder and harder, but knew that no matter how much I tried I would never be able to get out of the binds. 

              When Dave walked in minutes later I stopped struggling. When he saw that I was awake he smiled and walked over to me with a smile one his face. The way that he was smiling sent shivers up my back. He bent down and kissed my cheek when he got to me. "Lily babe, you have no idea how much I have missed you", Dave said while kissing along my jaw line. I shivered out of disgust and tried to pull away. When my head hit the chair behind me he only laughed. He moved so that he was pretty much straddling the chair and let his hands wander over my body. 

                Before I realized what I was doing I had spit on him. I saw the anger flash through his eyes. Nest thing I knew I was being smacked across the face reapeatedly. When he was finished he walked out of the room. When he came back in the room he had Daniel with him. Daniel looked terrified and I can just imagine how I looked to him. When Dave set Daniel down he tried to run to me, but Dave was quicker than that and grabbed his broken arm making him scream out in pain and stop pulling. Dave picked him up and threw him into the nearby rocking chair making Daniel hiss in pain. When Dave saw this he laughed. He grabbed Daniels good arm and pulled to behind his back and tying it to the chair. After that was done he moved to Daniels broken arm. Dave pulled that out and back purposely to hurt Daniel. 

                 Daniel had past out from the pain already, and his face had gone ghostly pale. I hated Dave for what he has done, but I knew there was only one thing that I could do to make things better. When Dave had finished with Daniel he sat down on the couch. After sending an apology to Tyler up in heaven I looked at Dave. He seemed engaged in the show that he was watching. I took and deep breath and finally worked up the courage to say what I was going to say. "Dave", I said gaining his attention. He looked at em with anger in his eyes. "What the fuck do you want", he screamed venom drippng from every word he said. 

                    "I love you", I whispered regretting everything that I said as soon as it came out of my mouth. "I'm sorry for all the times that I fought you, I never meant to, but you were hurting me", he looked at me poundering what I had just said. For a second something passed through his eyes like he believed me. "How do I know you're just not lying to me", he said that anger seeping into his voice once again.  "Untie me and I'll show you that I'm not lying", I whispered hating that this was the only way to save me and my kids. 

                     Dave stood up and walked over to me. He seemed to debate with himself whether or not he was going to untie me. He finally seemed to decide and reached for the ropes that tied my arms to the chair. "Promise not to hurt me", I asked hoping that he wouldn't punch me when I went to do this. "Not unless if you act like you're going to harm me", he said. When he was finished untying my binds I jumped into his arms. He wasn't expecting it when I kissed him, but soon he responded by kissing me back. I had to choke down the vomit that was rising in my throat, but I knew that I couldn't struggle anymore if I wanted to live. He kissed me hungrily, before pullling away. "I'm sorry for hurting you before  baby I just didn't like it when you resisted", he said. When he said that I could actually hear some sincerity in his voice. 

                    When I told him that I was tired he sighed, but let me go to bed. When I got upstairs to my bedroom I immediately started to think about how I was going to do what I was going to do. When I heard Dave coming up the stairs I layed down and closed my eyes to pretend like I was sleeping. I felt Dave sit down on the bed and wrap his arms around me. 

                    Involuntarily I acted like he had woken me up. When I opened my eyes and turned around, he jumped a little. “Lily I thought you were sleeping”, he said. “I was you kind of woke me up”, I said looking at him for the first time and noticing all the features about him that I hadn’t before. My skin felt like it was on fire when he touched me, and it was driving me crazy almost like I wanted him. I shuddered and told myself that I was not falling for the man that had not only abused me, but the man that had also raped me. 

                   I fell asleep in that position dreaming of something horrifying. The next morning when I woke up Dave was in the kitchen making breakfast. The kids were sitting on the floor watching cartoons. They all looked at me when I walked by. I kept walking knowing that if I showed them more love than Dave he would kill me like he did Sarah. I walked into the kitchen and gave Dave a hug and kiss. After that I sat down at the table with a glass of orange juice. I was spacing out while trying to carry on a conversation with Dave. He didn’t get mad at me and hit me like I thought he would, instead he rubbed my cheek and asked me if I was ok. I nodded my head afraid that if I spoke I would break out in tears. 

               Dave left for work around 3 leaving me alone with the kids. I got online and started looking up places far away that I could send the kids. Somewhere that Dave would never find them. When I didn’t find anywhere promising after about an hour I sighed in frustration and deleted the history of what I looked up. I knew that even if Dave saw it I could say that it was a surprise vacation that I was going to take him on, but I figured better safe then sorry.

                 I had supper on the table for Dave when he walked in the house. The kids all ran up and gave him a hug and kiss before saying goodnight to him. I walked up to him and gave him a kiss before telling him that I was going to put the kids to bed, so that we could have adult time. When the kids were in bed I went back downstairs to see that Dave had made me a plate and was waiting for me. I sat down and we ate. I asked Dave about his day and he asked me about mine. We were really getting along and some part of my brain wondered if this could really work out with me and him. I mentally slapped myself after thinking that of course we couldn’t he had hurt me to much for that to happen. He raped me for Pete’s sake and here I am thinking that we could actually be together, of course we can’t. 

               The next day I woke up and wasn’t in bed. I went downstairs to the kitchen, and he was in there making breakfast. “I have the day off today, so I was thinking I would get up early and make you some breakfast”, he said leaning in for a kiss. I kissed him immediately felt sparks. Why do I keep feeling this way it’s not right I said to myself. I must’ve been frowning, because Dave asked me what was wrong. “I don’t feel to good”, I said sitting down in a chair at the table. Dave came over to me and picked me up sending sparks all the way through my body. 

           He carried me to the bedroom where he told me to sleep for a little while. He told me that he would be back up in a little bit to see how I was feeling. 

              I had a dream that I was getting married. I didn’t know who I was getting married to, but 

I was so happy that I could barely sit still. My friends were applying my make-up and telling me that I looked so pretty. When I looked in the mirror I almost died. I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror. It couldn’t be me. I have scares everywhere, and was never close to being pretty. When it was time for the wedding my best friend Summer walked me down the aisle. I still hadn’t seen the face of the guy that I was going to be marrying. When I finally saw who it was. My heart did a little jumpstart. It was Dave the guy that I had recently grown feelings for.  

             I bolted out of bed after having that dream, hoping that it wasn’t real. When I looked around me I was in my bedroom. Thank god I didn’t get married to him. When I saw that it  was 4:30 I ran down the stairs I had slept for most of the day and Dave didn’t come wake me up. When I got downstairs Dave was passed out on the couch. I sighed in relief and went back upstairs where I once again fell asleep.