Dark smile and crimson eyes-A Sebastian Michaelis love story

Chapter 8: Depression and the first kiss

My mind was blank. Nothing. I felt nothing. I was slipping into this never ending darkness that just seemed to love torching me. It was feeding off of my happiness and only leaving me as an empty shell.

I sat in my room for days, maybe weeks on end. Sebastian tried quite a few times to get me out of the manor, but I was in a depressive state. Ciel didn't know what was going on, what had happened, and that's the way I wanted it to stay.

But lately luck wasn't on my side. Ciel ordered Sebastian to tell him what happened that dreadful night. As soon as Ciel heard the full story, he came down too my room.

He walked in and closed the door behind him so Sebastian couldn't see him. His azure eye showed anger, sadness and most of all regret. For the first time in a week and a half I let emotion show.

I let my adoptive brother, the person who has been so generous to me the past two months, see my pain. I was broken. Ciel walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge. He then did something that surprised me. He hugged me.

Tears threatening to fall earlier had fallen. Ciel just continued to hug me. He was comforting me.

"Why did you not tell me?" Ciel's voice asked.

"I did not wish for you too think of me as dirty. Even though he did not succeed in what he was trying to do, it still makes me feel like I am a dirty fucking person seabear." I said using the nickname I came up for him.

Ciel stiffened and broke the hold he had on me, only to gently cup my face.

"You are not dirty. It was not your fault. He cannot hurt you Idris. Sebastian made sure of that. Do not ever think of yourself as dirty. You are far from it my dear sister." He said. "Now why don't we get a bath ready and you can finally come out of this bedroom."

I nodded my head. Ciel called for Sebastian who came in seconds later.

"Yes my Lord?" He asked.

"Get a bath ready for Idris. Make sure she is comfortable. Do anything and everything you can to help her. Do you understand?" Ciel said.

"Of course my young Lord." Sebastian replied.

Ciel got up and turned to face me. He looked hesitant for a minute but leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I'm glad that nothing happened." He whispered in my ear so only I could hear.

Ciel stood up and gracefully turned towards the door, leaving me with a devilishly handsome, demon butler, named Sebastian.

Nothing was said between the two of us as he helped me out of bed. Nothing needed to be. His actions, told me that somewhere he actually cared and that's all that matters to me.

"Thanks for everything Sebastian. I am so grateful towards you, words cannot even describe." I said breaking the silence.

"Idris, No need to thank me. I was simply doing my job." He said.

"Still..." I said as I went to the bathroom.

I looked over my shoulder at him. His eyes, usually blank and cold, held so much emotion. 'Can he possibly have feelings towards me as I do him? What the hell am I thinking!?! Of course he doesn't. It is getting dangerous how I keep forgetting he is a demon.' I wanted to cry. Let everything I was holding in out, all because I was in love with a creature that is incapable of loving me back.

"You always get so lost in your thoughts; it could be your downfall Idris." Sebastian said from behind me.

I whipped my body around so fast I lost my balance for a second. 'He is always doing that!' I looked up into his crimson eyes, those eyes I have come to love. I don't know what possessed me but at that moment all I wanted was for our lips too connect. I wanted to taste his rose colored lips, wanted to feel if they were soft.

'Stop it now Idris he is-' My thoughts were abruptly stopped as I felt Sebastian’s lips crash against mine. It was pure bliss and I found myself leaning into him. Deepening the passion filled kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. I finally came to my senses and pulled apart from him slapping him hard across the face.

I ran out of the room, trying to get as far away from him as I possibly could. I ran outside for the first time in a week. The suns bright rays disinagrating my eyes.

"Fuck a mother duck! It's so bright, my eyes!!" I yelled shielding my eyes from the torturous sun.

A chuckle soon turned into a full on laugh from behind me. I turned my head slightly, squinting my eyes and saw Ciel. His laughter made me smile, and I found myself laughing with him. He rarely smiled; it was even rarer to hear his beautiful laughter.

"My apologies Idris; it is just your reaction...” He said trying to stop his laughter but failing. Miserablely. "You have not set foot outside of your room in a week; it is like you forgot the sun even existed! HAHAHA"

I saw the four servants behind Ciel giving me thumbs up smiling from ear to ear. This made me laugh harder. I got up from my kneeling position on the ground, that I realized I was in, and walked over to Ciel.

"Maybe the sun got brighter; I do not remember it being this bright seabear! Now I am going to go take a bath please excuse me." I said laughing and walked into the house.

"Oh yeah, Ciel!" I said turning around. "I want to visit with Aunt Ann tomorrow. Would that be alright?"

"I see no problem with it. Now go do what you were going to do Idris." Ciel said heading to his study.

"Okay!" I said heading to the washroom.

~>~>~>~>~>~>

"Aunty Ann!" I yelled excitedly.

"Oh my darling! How are you?" Madam red asked.

"Actually that’s why I came here. There are things I would like to ask your advice on." I said sitting down on one of the five couches Madam red had in the foyer.

"Well ask away dear!" She said.

I looked at her. 'Should I ask or is it inappropriate to be in love with your brothers’ butler?'  

I sighed. 'I will ask.'

"So say that there is this man and I like him. Say we kissed but I cannot be sure of his feelings for me. It is slowly driving me insane. He saved me from a very bad situation, and for that I owe my life to him. I want him to love me back, but aunty I am afraid he will just use me for his own pleasures and break me." I said running out of breath.

She stayed silent. Studying my every move.

"Dear, Sebastian cares for you. It seems like you are the only one oblivious to it." She chuckled.

I gasped. 'How does she know it was Sebastian?'

"How did you kn-" I said but was interrupted.

"You obviously do not see the way he looks at you when you are not paying attention, or the simplest moves he makes to ensure that other men do not ask for your hand in marriage. Did you really think that a Phantomhive, especially a woman, would not have people begging for their hands? Phantomhive is a very powerful household. A woman would be snatched up in a minute dear! And you are a daughter of Grey."

She was right. I thought it was odd I was not betrothed yet. Not that I’m complaining. So Sebastian...really does have feelings for me? I need to confront him. Face to face.

"Thank you Aunty Ann. I shall take my leave now." I said standing up.

"Of course dear!" She said giving me a hug. "Just keep your relationship out of the publics’ eye, it may be different in your old time but here it is taboo"

I looked at her one last time before heading out the door and waved.

"Goodbye Aunty! I shall visit again soon!"

"Goodbye darling!" I heard her say as the carriage pulled away.

I am going to confront him. I will and I will get the truth from his very own mouth.

YAY!! Chapter 8! Well as always leave a comment and vote if you so wish! PEace!