weak × leafycynical

five

Todo el mundo tiene una debilidad , pero tengo dos. Todo lo que diga y todo lo que haces
//

Calvin stares at his shaking hand. It's the one that had been held by Niall's own soft hand, their fingers laced together delicately and Niall's thumb ran across the back of his hand ever so gently.

He slowly sits down onto his bed, not bothering to take off his shirt or jeans. He just waits until he finds something in order to distract him from thinking about the stupid date he just had.

Niall made him genuinely smile.

Niall made him happy.

He doesn't want to let Niall make him happy. He can't be happy when the very next day that happiness will be washed away when he wakes up with a the need to throw up and almost unbearable chest pain. Then he has to practically drag himself out of bed so he could turn off his alarm to take his medication and then not eat for the next five hours because the medicine needs to 'do its job'.

He already broke the rules when he took his medication only minutes before Niall knocked on his door.

However, Calvin didn't regret it this time. If anything, he was glad he spent an hour just drinking coffee and talking to the cute boy who got all flustered while talking to him.

Now it's been two hours since he last saw Niall. Sure, they live beside each other but neither of them had the confidence to ask the other to go over.
Fuck, Calvin wishes that Niall would invite him over.

He pushes that thought away quickly. Calvin doesn't want to go over to Niall's. He'd just end up being a burden in his life.

Niall wouldn't know how to deal with him or his illness.

Yet Calvin still wants to be held by him and for them to tell each other cute stories by the beach late at night.

Really, he hates himself. But he couldn't do anything about how he feels towards Niall or his bad health or the fact that he is constantly struggling with keeping track of multiple schedules and alarms. In fact, his phone had started buzzing, notifying him about the appointment he has scheduled on Saturday.

Calvin sighs sadly before shutting up the annoying alarm.

××

"You held his hand?" Roman asks, almost laughing because he didn't believe what Niall was trying to tell him. The blond was a blushing mess as he stuttered out how cute Calvin's smile is and how he didn't wear a fucking hoodie. "Yes! And he let me! I thought he'd tell me to piss off or something," Niall says with a wide smile across his features.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, man. I'm honestly so fucking happy- god. I like him so much," Niall says and lets himself fall onto his couch and pull one of the pillows under his head.

"I thought it was just a lowkey crush," Roman jokes.

"I thought it was. I know I sound like some middle school kid, Roman, but I really fucking like him. Do you think he'd want to be like, my boyfriend?"

Roman laughs loudly, hiding his face behind his hands. He had to spin around in the chair so he's facing the marble counter instead of Niall's embarrassed face. "You really do sound like one of those kids. You know? Oh my god- this is like the best thing ever."

"Okay, okay, never mind then."

"I'm kidding, well, kind of. I'm sure he would want to date you. Honestly, if you weren't so hooked up on that guy I'd want to date you."