You're Just A Daydream Away

I Promise I'll Be Just As Strong As I Can Be

I opened my eyes slowly, trying not over stimulate my brain. Right now I don't know how to feel, rather I should cry or scream or smile. I just- I'm scared.

Jack was asleep. I heard him snore lightly before I saw his face. That's ok though, now I have time to calm myself down before anything happens.

I saw bruises splattered across his face and what little of his chest I could see. Some of them were light, yellow even. But others were dark and angry looking, a deepish purple color rimmed with a dark red. His hair was laying limply over his forehead, slightly matted from lack of care. Even in sleep, his face looked rough. Like he was having a bad dream maybe.

I quietly sat down in the chair closest to his bed. I didn't want to be right in his face when he woke, out of fear of scaring him.

I observed his sleeping face, his eyes were squinted slightly, like they were forced shut. His mouth hung slack, shallow breaths entering and exiting in a spastic rhythm; his breathing being assisted by a cannula. It hardly seems fair that he's trapped here in this condition. I can't see any of the burn marks, but the nurse said they were on his back so I guess that makes sense.

As I waited for him to wake up, I found myself drifting in and out of coherence with the world around me. I dazed off into the fantasy realm of sunshine, guitars, pizza and a healthy Jack. So basically I dazed into the summer after we graduated. Or better known as the first summer on warped. We were completely different people, all of us were. I didn't have an extreme crush on my best friend, there were no crazy ex-girlfriends, everything was ok. Oh what I would do to go back to a time that simple.

I'd even give up having Jack as my own if it meant he were never in any danger because of her. His well-being is far more important than my happiness.

My thoughts were becoming increasingly depressing when I was pulled back into reality when I heard a noise come from Jack. He groaned and moved around a bit before waking up completely. He sighed and sat up, completely oblivious that anyone was in the room with him.

As he sat up I noticed the thick bandages that covered his back, most likely protecting the healing burns while he waited for surgery. The back of his neck was covered in a new scar, probably from a burn that had already blistered over. I couldn't help but wince at the angry red color that painted the skin, alerting him to my presence.

His head shot in my direction, eyes wide; laced with an incomprehensible fear. A fear that I'd seen on him once before. It was the same fear that I saw when I woke him up from a nightmare the night a few weeks before we got together. It scared me that he was so scared, he shouldn't have to fear someone in his hospital room; even though it makes complete sense why he does.

His face softened when he realized it was me, and some vicious intruder bent on hurting him again. His gaze dropped to his hands, his head turned away from me once again.

"You scared me..." he whispered, even with his voice so quiet, I could hear the agony. It seems she really messed him up this time, more than last.

"I'm sorry," I said hastily, standing up, "I'm not going to hurt you I promise."

He nodded weakly, biting his lip, "I know Lex..."

I smiled at him, even though he wasn't looking at me, I knew he could feel my smile; or at least I hoped he could. I crossed the room to get closer to him because suddenly he was too far away. If my Jacky was scared, then I wanted to comfort him. I never want him to be scared or alone, if I could, I'd create a world for the two of to live in; completely safe from the horrors of real life.

I gently placed a hand on his shoulder when I was close enough. He jumped and quickly looked up at me, fear in his eyes once again. I recoiled my hand quickly, suddenly feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I expressed, unsure what to say.

He shook his head, the fear in his eyes changing to something unreadable, "Don't be," he said quietly, his voice broken, "It's not your fault I'm afraid of my own shadow..."

I gave him a small smile, "Don't beat yourself up," I mused, "It's not yours either."

"I could've done more to stop her, I could've faught back," he argued, "I just didn't want to hurt her you know? I didn't want to do anything that she could've turned around, made it seem like it was my fault."

"That was probably the smart thing to do," I said with a shrug, "You don't know what that girls capable of..."

"When I talked to the police officer earlier, he said she tried to pin it on me, that she did in self-defence," he responded, "But the police officer got her to admit it finally. He told me that the best lawyer in the state couldn't keep her out of prison..."

"Well that's good right?" I asked, small smile forcing itself on my lips.

He shrugged lightly, "I guess. But Alex, the damage has still been done. I know for a fact I'm not going to get over it easily. I might never..."

"Hey now," I said gently, "Don't think about that now. What matters now is that you're alive and she'll never touch you again. And I'll be right by your side the entire recovery period, I'll help you as best as I can. I'll never leave yourside, unless you send me away."

He smiled at me, big and genuine. I could feel the tears burning in the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them spill. Right now I have to be the strong one.

"Thank you, Alex," he said quietly.

"Can I hug you?" I asked, biting my lip.

He nodded and opened his arms to me. I smiled and oh so gently placed myself in them. I drapped my arms around him but didn't squeeze out of fear of hurting him more. 

Even if it would take awhile, I knew we'd be ok. He'd be ok. Everything's going to be fine.