You're Just A Daydream Away

I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be The Same

~*POV Alex*~

I hate hospitals. With a passion. The overbearing white walls, the sickly clean smell of disinfectant. And the noises, don't get me started on the noises. The constant beeping and hum of the machines, the doctors quiet conversation. It's enough to drive me insane.

I suppose I could leave at anytime, but I felt bad for leaving Jack after I brought him here. And he asked me stay with him again tonight in case he had another nightmare. I don't blame him though, I'd be having nightmares if I were him.

Zack, Rian and Matt all reacted differently to hearing Jack's story. Zack, who's always been over protective of his friends, was very mad, ready to pounce. I knew his anger wasn't directed towards me or anyone else in the room, but it still kind of scared me. Rian, a total sweetheart, reacted somewhat similar to how I had, he was overwhelmed and sad. Matt kind of glazed over and excused himself from the room for about five minutes. When he returned he informed us that the police have been called and someone was coming tomorrow morning to talk to Jack.

This upset Jack greatly, to say the least. He yelled at Matt, saying this was none of his business, and it's not his right to get involved. Matt just sat there and let Jack yell at him until he eventual calmed down and started crying again. That was when those three left. I was going to leave too, to give him some space, but he said he didn't want to be alone. So, obviously, I stayed.

I don't understand why Jack got so mad at Matt though, he's just trying to help. Jack can't stay in that situation anymore, he could've died easily. And I doubt that just breaking up with her would work, the only logical thing to do is involve the authorities. She's dangerous to his safety, and that's the main priority, keeping Jacky safe.

I sighed as I looked down at Jack as he slept. He's been sleeping a lot since he's been here. Maybe that's his minds way of coping and not having to deal with the problem. He knows that he has to deal with it. Either Holly's going to show up here or the police will. It's just a matter of which one will happen first. He's probably scared as hell, I know I'd be.

I'm not entirely sure what to do while he sleeps, I can't leave. I told him I'd be here if he woke up from a nightmare. God I'm so whipped, and we'll never even be together. But hey, a boy can dream.

~*POV Jack*~

I smiled to myself as I buttoned up my shirt. Holly's coming over for dinner tonight and I'm extremely excited. I know we've only been together for about a month, but she makes me happy. It's not love, not yet, but I can see myself loving her. We go well together, she puts up with all of my childish shit.

Tonight we're not doing anything to extravagant, just ordering take out, watching movies and maybe getting drunk. I have to leave for tour soon and I want to spend some more time with her before I leave. Our relationship's still new and I'm a little worried about leaving for so long, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

Their was a knock on the door that I could only assume to be her.

"Holls!" I exclaimed when I opened the door to let her in.

"Jack!" she exclaimed back, hugging me lightly before coming inside.

"What are you up for tonight?" I asked as she sat down on the cough, "I was thinking take out and movies but if you want to do something else..."

"That sounds wonderful," she replied with a smile, "Do you have any alcohol though? I had a terrible day at work."

"I'm sorry," I said with a frown, "Are you good with the strong stuff? I don't have any wine..."

"Perfect."

~

A couple of hours later, we had consumed more alcohol than anything. Her more than me though, I was still slightly sober while she was completely hammered. 

She crawled her way across the couch and into my lap, kissing me sloppily. I chuckled at her sudden horneyness, she's usually pretty shy. But hey, I'm not going to complain, I'll take her kisses. She snaked her hands into my hair and assaulted my mouth with her tongue. This is definitely new for us, but like I said, I'm not complaining.

It wasn't until her hands moved to my zipper that the red light in my head popped on.

"Come on Holly," I said, moving her hands, "A few days ago you said you weren't ready for that."

"Jacky!" she slurred, "I really want you! I promise I'm ready!"

"No babe," I said sternly, "You're hammered and horny. I don't want you to regret our first time in the morning."

That's when it happened. Her hand acrossed my face in a blunt flash of rage. I was shocked at first, I just stared at her for a moment. She looked back at me, her eyes flashed with rage. 

"You will have sex with me Jack," she demanded, her words cold and still slurred, "We both know you want it. And we both know the only way you'll ever get it is with me."

I was still in shock from her sudden change in attitude. So I just went along with what she wanted, letting her have her way with me. I can't deny that it was good, and I can't deny that she was right about me wanting it, but it still felt wrong.

~

I awoke with a start, another dream about the past. Even though it wasn't even close to the worst, that time still effected me greatly. It was the first time, I should've been smart enough to get out while I had the chance. But I let her control me and use me, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for it. This is all my fault, and mine alone. 

I sat up to see that Alex was sitting in the chair by my bed, dozing off. It made me happy that he stayed when I asked him too. It's good to know I can rely on him. 

"Lex?" I said quietly, not entirely sure if I want him to wake up or not.

He snapped awake, "What- Uhm- Jack," he stuttered out in a half asleep jumble of words.

"Hi," I whispered awkwardly, looking down and biting my lip.

He placed his hand on my knee and softly asked, "Are you ok? Did you have another nightmare?"

I nodded slowly, still avoiding eye contact. Suddenly I was really embarrassed by it. I feel so pathetic, the memory dream wasn't that bad. But for some reason, it really shook me up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked while gently rubbing my knee in an attempt to comfort me.

And just like that, I was telling Alex the story that started it all. I don't know what caused me to all of a sudden tell him everything, but once I started the story, the details just came pouring out. It's like I couldn't stop myself. He sat and listened intently, without once interrupting. 

When I was done with the story, he gave me a small smile and said, "Just remember Jack, what's past has passed. It's all over now, you'll never be put in a situation like that again."

"I just feel so pathetic Lex," I said quietly, "That's not even a really bad memory, but yet I'm still so shaken up by it..."

"You've been through a lot Jack," he responded, "It's not pathetic for you to be scared. It's normal and I'd be more worried if this didn't effect you at all..."

I gave him a half smile, which he returned with a full out grin. Talking to him really helped me calm down. I'm not entirely sure why I'm leaning on Alex so much lately, but I know that I need him.

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