You're Just A Daydream Away

Don't Wanna Lose It, Let's Defuse It

~Jack

I could hear the familiar sounding music from a few streets away. It was an outside venue, so of course I could hear it. I was drawn in by it. I couldn't control my feet running in the direction of the venue. I sprinted the entire way; unable to stop myself. But everything changed when I came to face to face with advertisement poster. A huge 'sold out' sticker was sloppily placed over the band name. I swelled with a sense of pride. Selling out shows is an incredible feeling.

I could easily hear every little detail now.

Oh, on a wire, we were dancing
Two kids no consequences

It felt like I was being magnetically pulled. I needed to get in. I needed to get to the stage where I belong.

Pull the trigger, without thinking
There's only one way down this road

I may have thrown it all away before, but oh do I need it now. When I left I was so sure that I'd be welcomed back when I decided to return.

It was like a time bomb, set into motion we knew that we were destined to explode

It's obvious that they sound better without me. I bet that whoever the hell replaced me-I couldn't will myself to look-was so excited to have my job. He was doing a great job, I couldn't detect any mistakes.

And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage You know I'm never gonna let you go

I miss it, so much. I miss the feeling of all the kids screaming my name. I miss the adrenaline of playing in front of a huge crowd. I miss feeling like I belonged, like I was a part of something bigger than all of us. Most importantly, I miss my friends. And, I miss Alex.

Got my heart in your hands
Like a time bomb ticking

Our relationship may have been short lived and built upon all of my insecurities but, it felt like more than that to me. I realized that at the beginning, I was useing him to fuel my need a reassurence. I needed to know I was worth something to someone, and Alex made me feel that way.

It goes off, we start again
When it breaks, we fix it

But, I was happy. I was happy until she came back and ruinned it for me. I try not to think about that day anymore. Forgetting all of the pain she put me through is becoming easier everyday. I got over all of my stupid insecurities that forced me to leave in the first place.

Like a time bomb
Gonna lose it, let's defuse it

I'm not happy anymore. I realized that when I'm on my own, I can't be happy. I need my friends, I need my family, I need someone. Because when I'm left alone, my thoughts consume me and destroy any happyness I have.

One empty, lonely night in particular had me come to an important realizaton. I was tossing and turning in a cold hotel bed; longing for the warmth of another person, if only for the night. I was a little more than half drunk from a night at a cheap bar. I had every intention of bringing some guy back with me-I couldn't emotionally be with a girl. But, I couldn't. It wasn't like there weren't any hot guys there, or known of them could be convinced, with a little liquid courage, to try something new.

No, the problem was me. I was horny and sad, but I couldn't will myself to pick someone up. It felt wrong, like I was betraying someone. Which was really frustrating because I was emotionally attached to someone when I was alone.

But I need it,
Wouldn't have it any other way

At first I thought it was her. That sickened me, thinking that I still cared for someone that put me through so much shit. It actually really scared me thinking that.

But, while I was tossing and turning that night, I realized I was wrong. It was Holly that had captured my heart and refused to let go. It was Alex. I realized I was completely and irreversibly in love with him.

"That was time bomb obviously!" The voice of said man rang through my ears after the last notes faded out, "But on a more serious note, that song means a lot to me. Especially now. Someone that played a very important role in my life is no longer in it. And I think about them everyday." Pause for effect. Zack plays a one liner filler. Alex continues, "But I know that if we get a chance to, we'll be able to get our shit together and start again."

The crowd cheers, I smile. I know now that I can't spend another day out on my own. Even if the Time Bomb speech wasn't about me, I can take it. I just can't be alone anymore.

I run to the venue entrance gates; hoping that one of the security guards'll recognize me. Or at least realize I'm on the promotional poster. If not, chances are a couple of kids will be at the merch table and prove I actually belong there.

"Hey kid!" an older looking security guard yelled at me, "You can't be here unless you have ticket."

"Actually," I explained, "I'm in one of the bands playing here today."

"Ok, where's your pass?" he asked, suspiciously raising an eyebrow at me.

"I- um, lost it?"

He sighed heavily, "Get out of here, or I'll call the police and have you arrested." He started to walk away.

"Wait a minute!" I yelled, "Either get a crew member or look at the fucking promo poster. That's my face."

"Sure it is kid," he said, still walking away, "whatever you say."

I huffed and walked along the gates, looking for a younger security guard; one that might recognize me.

"Jack?!" I heard a familiar voice call in my direction.

I turned around and waved at a very confused looking Vinny-who I have never been happier to see, "Vinny!" I yelled back, walking in his direction.

"It is you Barakat!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing here man?"

"What can I say? I just couldn't stay away," I joked, shrugged.

"That was a really bad rhyme Jack..." he made fun of me.

I rolled my eyes, "Vin, do you think you can help me get in?"

"Only if you promise to stop rhyming Jack, it's really bad," he answered, jokingly shuddering, "Can you not charm your way into the pants of the head security guard? I heard she has a thing for band members."

I scoffed, "The guy I talked to didn't let me in because I didn't have a pass and was to stubborn to, I don't know, look at the promo poster..."

He laughed, "Yeah your face is kind of on it... I should really leave you to fend for yourself as revenge for leaving me without my drinking buddy, but I'm feeling nice, so come one."

"You're the best Vinny," I smiled.

~

"Jack!" Jaime Preciado yelled as Vinny brought me in one of the dressing rooms. He was sitting on a ratty looking couch next to Tony Perry. Mike and Vic were sitting on a different, equally ratty, couch. From the look of it they had already played their set.

"Hey Jaime, hey guys!" I said happily, waving at them.

"Where've you been Barakat?" Jaime asked, "I missed you!"

 I shrugged and answered casually, "I had some thinking to do."

Vic frowned, "Rian and Zack gave us a brief explanation of why you had to leave. That must be really hard, I'm sorry man."

I half smiled, "It really did suck," I explained, "But I feel a lot better about it now. I don't think I'll ever be completely over it, but I'm to the point where I can live my life."

Tony smiled at me, "That's good. I'm glad."

"Do the guys know you're here tonight?" Mike asked, "I know they all really miss you, especially Alex. He's been kind of bummed all tour."

"Yeah," Vic agreed, "He tries to cover it up and act normal, but it's obvious he misses you."

I smiled, "They don't know I'm here. And I really miss them too. I wasn't planning on coming back yet, but I heard the music when I was walking down the street and I knew I couldn't stay away any longer."

"Are you going to stay afterwards?" Jaime asked, "The only show left this tour is the Baltimore one. Are you going to come with us?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I haven't really thought about it. I probably will if the guys'll let me..."

"Hell if anything you can stay on our bus," Mike said, "You're a part of All Time Low, you belong here."

I smiled and opened my mouth to thank them for being so supportive. But I was interrupted my Pierce the Veil's manager, who has stuck his head in the door. He through a jeweled wireless mic at Vic, who skillfully caught it.

"Vic it's almost time," he said, "You ready?"

"I'm pumped," Vic exclaimed, walking towards the door, "Jack come with me, you're going to want to hear this..."

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A/N: Oh hey guys, long time so update... Hehe I'm so sorry. The holiday's just make me crazy. My family's way too judge mental and it stresses me out. :( 

This chapter was almost a filler. The stuff with PTV was, but the beginning was pretty important. I wanted to try out incorporating lyrics before doing it with something more important. So tell me what you thought, so I know what changes to make next chapter :)

You guys are incredible! I didn't even realize this had 5, almost 6k readers until now. That's insane!