Just A Number

How Does Love Feel?

I awoke to the aroma of sweet breakfast food. Eggs, bacon, and toast were being served by Alex, who was bouncing around the kitchen like a bouncy ball.

“Too much coffee.” Nathan explained while pulling a chair out for me to sit on.

The table was already set and as soon as Alex was done cooking the eggs, we sat down and devoured the food. It was nice. Like a family dinner. Only I had just met this girl yesterday.

“So who are you exactly? I mean, how do you know Nathan?” Alex asked as she chewed. Not very lady like. Maybe she was too used to playing the part of Martin to have manners.

“Oh, we met at school.” Nathan answered right away.

Only, we didn't meet at school. At least, I don't think we did. Though I can't really recall every single person I have ever met at school, Nathan was a few years older than me.

Why was he lying?

He squeezed my hand and shot me a look, almost pleading me to justify his answer.

“Yeah, we met in P.E. Class. I was horrible at basketball and he helped me figure out the point system.” I faked a smile.

After breakfast, “Martin” got dressed in his (her?) Walmart polo. Waving goodbye, she drifted out of sight, her footsteps could be heard climbing the ladder. Nathan and I sat in the living area. He was reading a book. As I squinted to see the title I realized that it was my favorite book, Wuthering Heights. He glanced away from his book to peek up at me.

"Thanks for lying for me." His hand flipped a page.

I shrugged. I preferred not to lie, but I had no reason to be trustworthy to Alex, I barely knew her. Nathan saved my life therefore I had to be loyal to him.

"She's quite a feminist. Not that it's a bad thing. Just, if she knew I was working at the facility she'd kill me."

I nodded. Just the thought of him working there made me sick too.

"I only worked there because I needed a job. If I had the choice, I would work in a doctor's office or a regular hospital. It wasn't exactly my first choice."

Once again, I said nothing. I wasn't sure what to feel. Sympathetic? Defensive? Angry?

His deep brown eyes continued to stare at me, wondering what I was thinking. Like a true doctor, always analyzing.

I stood up, wanting to leave. I just wanted to go home. Go back to my warm, comforting, regular world, where the only thing I had to be angry or worried about was what clothes I should where to school. I wasted an hour a day picking out the perfect outfit. That hour could have been spent doing something so much more productive. I could have had family time with my parents.

My mom seems like a distant memory. I forget her face. I'm unsure of her voice. The thought of her hugging me seems unrealistic. Do normal people forget their departed loved ones? How can you forget someone who was so important to you?

A hand gently touches my face, wipes the dripping tears away.

"I know how you feel." Nathan continues to wipe away the tears with his shirt sleeve. "My parents passed away too."

"How did you know?" I had never told him about my mother's death.

"They tried to find her when they...took you. Finally, they found her..." The thought had never occurred to me. Did Dad bury her? Cremate her? What happened to her body?

I rubbed my sleeve under my nose like a fussy toddler.

"Come here. I'm so sorry Hayley." I latched onto his jacket. He tilted my chin upward and lightly kissed my lips.

Not quite a romantic kiss. Just a consoling, "I'm here for you" one. Still, a kiss is a kiss, and this was my first. Weeks ago, I hated this guy, the arrogant, uncaring student doctor, but now I saw a different side. A helpful, loving, exciting medical student. He was unique and not to mention smart.

I wouldn't say I'm in love, but I don't even know what love feels like. So how would I know?

As soon as it started, it ends. Nathan pulled away and plopped down onto the couch, picking up Wuthering Heights and flipping to find his place.

“I love Heathcliff. He's always fighting between love and sin. It's what everybody has to deal with; the forces of good and evil.” I say softly.

At first I wasn't sure if he heard me, but then he asks, “You've read this book?”

“Of course. It's my favorite.”

Nathan smiles. “Mine too.”

Sorry I took so long with this chapter! Hopefully it's worth the wait! Something super big happens in the next chapter, so keep reading! Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions! I absolutely appreciate it. Thank you so much for reading! Have a fantastic day!