My Thoughts

#13

So for the past few week I've been feeling like some of my friends don't care to much anymore. It's not a feeling i like to have either but i think about that all the time.

I've just recently talk to my friend about how i feel and what's going on and she told me about how she feels the same way, like her friends aren't there when they said they would be. She also told me that i can always come to her for advice for things or if i just need to talk and that made me feel better. Now i know i have another friend i can count on when i need them. That makes me feel a lot better.

It made me feel better when she said that because for the past few weeks a friend that i have talked to almost everyday hasn't talked to me for more than 5min. So at the moment i don't know if i should believe that she ditched me, is mad or annoyed with me, or finds me to clingy and has gotten tired of me. It really hurts too because i thought of her as one of my best friends and now i don't know what to think.

I have also been thinking if 2 of my best guy friends that I've made last year are really gonna be their for me like they say or just keep overlooking me. I have been feeling lonely and i miss talking to them, really talking to them. And every time i text them and wait and wait and wait i feel like they care a little less every time.

I wanna tell them about how I'm feeling now but I'm to scared that I'll lose 2 of the best friends that I've ever had. If i can keep them as my friends and not lose them then I'll gladly deal with the pain and loneliness. If it means i won't lose them then I'll do it.

I've also been thinking about how I've talked to my best friend in the whole world and i remembered that i don't even know what's going on in her life anymore. I feel so terrible because of that. Every time she get's the chance to text me i completely forget about asking what's going on in her life. How she's really doing, how i can make her happy and feeling better if she's feeling down. I have completely forgotten about asking her that and making sure she's ok. Right now I'm just kinda afraid that she'll forget about me or that she'll dump me as a friend. That scares me so much. She's already moved to the next town over, i just don't think i can handle losing her for good. I can't imagine a life without my best friend in it and i don't even wanna think about it.

Other then that I've been stressed about school starting again. I'm already worried about finals that i have to take at the end of the year. It doesn't help that i don't have a mentor anymore and I'm to scared to go to a guidance counselor.

The only good thing right now is that I've told someone how I've felt about then and i don't have to hide from them anymore. I only have relief from that.

So at the moment I'm sad, lonely, stressed, and i can't sleep until 5am I'm feeling horrible. I have nothing to take my mind off of things either so I'm waiting for school to start up so i can get my mind off some things and worried about others.

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Love you all! Bye-bye 👋

Grim_Reapress
eyeofheavenandhell
marcus1999_
marcusandnoah1234