epilogue –
"pregnancy is the best moment in your life," says everyone who's never been pregnant. "raising a child is the most wonderful thing in your life," says everyone who's never had a child.
in case you're wondering, it's not the best thing in life, it's more like the worst—especially when the child is the product of one of those "friends with benefits" nights with a kpop idol you're not even dating.
yep, that's right. park chanyeol impregnated me. although it was accidental, that doesn't help the fact that i just want to stab him right in the bald spot.
as if nine months of pain weren't enough, i was just blessed with a child who was just like his father: annoying and hyper. why couldn't he be like me? or better yet, why couldn't he have just been a sperm cell who never succeeded in reaching the unfertilized egg?
"your ugly son just poked my dog in the eye. come pick him up," i told chanyeol through the phone, massaging my temples as the child snickered, probably planning what he'd do next.
"my ugly son? you mean our ugly s—wait, he's not ugly! he looks like me!" chanyeol exclaimed, followed by a grunt. "anyways, i can't right now. can't you wait a few more hours?"
"why? what are you doing?"
"nothing."
"chanyeol, tell me!"
"i'm...at a party."
i released a long, loud sigh as i dropped myself on the couch. "okay, i guess i'll just call my cutie baekhyun to help me out. no biggie."
"no! it's okay! i'll be right there, fam!"
i smiled to myself as the call ended before then shooting a glance at the child. the one that i almost died pushing out four years ago when i was only twenty. thanks, park chanyeol. thanks a lot.
"dad's coming to pick you up."
"mommy," he spoke up, "how come you always call him 'dad' around me, but when you're in the room with him, you call him 'daddy'?"
instantly, my eyes widened. my first thought was to squeal, but i calmed myself down. "dont ask questions you dont want to know the answer to."
he furrowed his brows, but then seemed to give up on wanting to know, thankfully.
"i'm going to go upstairs. don't bother me, don't break anything, and don't set anything on fire again. i just want to sleep until your father comes," i warned. "please."
"you're gonna have a pretty short nap if you're going to sleep until he comes," the little devil had the courage to say. as you can see, he's also a bit like me.
"what? what does that eve—" my eyes shot open. "oh my god, is that a sex joke?!"
he nodded. "i learned it from uncle sehun and his weird girlfriend, esteban."
"you are four!"
"four feet in your mom."
"oh my god!" i screeched, dragging on the last syllable. "now i know why people kill their children," i whispered loud enough for only myself to hear before heading upstairs, pinching the bridge of my nose.
—
unexpectedly, i was woken up by a pair of small hands gripping onto my legs and pulling me off the bed. after landing on the floor with a loud thud, i groaned and mumbled several incoherent words. once i was at least half awake, i turned my head just to see chanyeol with a smile on his face and the little mini chanyeol right beside him with a mischievous look on his face— the usual.
