Through it Together- Demi Lovato

Part 16

"Through it together." She says and all three of us start crying. The doorbell rings and we all head downstairs to get the food. Maddie ordered it. We sit down and eat. I struggle a bit but Maddie and Dallas help me through it.

That night we fall asleep cuddled together on my bed. I love my sisters.

Me, Dallas and Maddie stand in a circle staring at each other, completely puzzled at what to do next. You see, our dilemma is that after waking up this morning we all had a long talk. We decided that me, Dallas, Maddie, and Marissa are going to all live in my house, considering it's the biggest. The issue we have now is that we have to get anything sharp that we could use to harm ourselves out of the house. Dallas looks up at me.

"Do... Do you think you can?" She asks me and I hesitate. I run the question through my head. Am I strong enough at this moment to touch a blade and anything else sharp and not use it? Any other day I would be able to say yes, I would struggle but I would be able to. Now, because the recent.... events... no. I don't trust myself right now. I look up at Dallas and a tear falls down my cheek as I shake my head no.

Dallas turns to Maddie, and she starts crying too. She shakes her head no, grabbing her wrist and squeezing it. I reach out and pry her hands from her arm, wrapping them around my waist as we stand there hugging. At the same time we both look at Dallas. Our last hope. She bites her bottom lip, looking extremely nervous.

"I-I'll t-try." She says and Maddie and I nod our heads in reply. She looks at me first and says "where to?". Shakily, I speak.

"M-My bathroom, f-floor, b-by the sh-shower." I say and Dallas nods, heading into my room, clenching her fists extremely tight. "D-Dal." I say and she turns around. "You sure?" I ask her and she slowly nods and I watch as she walks into the bathroom. It's silent for a few seconds before the all too familiar sound of metal clinging on the tile floor hits my ear and Maddie and I both flinch. Dallas comes rushing out of the bathroom with tears running down her face, and wraps her arms around Maddie and I.

"I-I can't I-I'm s-sorry." She says, practically sobbing. I squeeze her body tighter to me and speak into her ear.

"It's ok, Dal. It's ok. I think... I think we should call momma..." I say and Maddie and Dal both look up at me.

"But... but then we have to tell her..." Maddie says and I look at her confused.

"Mads, I thought she knew about you?" I say and Maddie shakes her head.

"Mar didn't give them specifics. Just said it was good for my health to spend time with you..." She trails off and I nod my head.

All three of us sit down on my bed and stay silent for a moment. I roll up my sleeves and turn my wrists upwards, making my tattoos and the nail marks I made with my nails visible. My eyes run over the white scars along my wrists. Next to me, Maddie rolls up her sleeves revealing probably hundreds of old and fresh cuts on her wrists. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look at them. My babygirl. On my other side, Dallas sighs loudly and rolls up both her sleeves, revealing about twenty cuts lining her wrists. Wait, twenty? She only had six last night! I look up to her and she looks at me with sad, guilty eyes and I just sigh before looking down.

The sobs I was waiting so long to hold in were released, and two pairs of arms were wrapped around me as I continued to sob. But not just normal two pairs of arms. Two pairs of scarred and cut up arms. All because of me. Me. "I-I'm so s-sorry." I let out between sobs and Maddie speaks.