Why me?! (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 19 Goodbyes

•Alex

Today's the day. If he makes the first round, which he most likely will, he'll be gone for two months. He's let me listen to him and the guys practicing and their voices are amazing. Harry sounds like a real angel.

"Got everything babe?" Boys don't know how to pack. Earlier he only had two pairs of pants, maybe four shirts, no socks and a few pairs of underwear just thrown into a backpack. Of course I helped him. Finally it's time to go.

We get into the car and the long drive begins.
I'll skip the journey there. All in all, the only thing in sight was building after building and street sign after street sign. We meet in the parking lot with the other guys.

"Hey Perrie, do you want to come back to Alex's place with us?" I feel bad for not inviting her, but it totally slipped my mind with everything going on.

"Oh it's fine. I'm going to visit my parents later today." Perrie is a really nice girl Zayn met through a friend. I'm glad they are taking things slow. It took Zayn months to just step outside his house. As did I. It's been tough, but Mac sends me little reminders of her daily. She was always stubborn as hell. I miss her.

"We'll keep in touch." She nodded and then it came time for the boys to go check in. I watched the boys hold onto their bags and looked over at Harry. Our eyes locked and I couldn't do it. He's been protecting me for so long. I know it's only temporary, but something inside me sprung up a whole new level of hurt.

I tried to hold back the tears, but turned away so he couldn't see them start to stream down my face. I broke. I felt his hands wrap around me, slowly drawing circles in my back. His chin rested in my neck. After a few seconds he speaks up.

"See this is why I can't leave. I can't just leave you..."

"I'm fine, see" I quickly wiped my eyes with my sleeve and pressed a fake smile. I was as "fine" as I always had to be.

"Go live your dream. I'll be fine." He looked at me with his deep green eyes and slightly nodded. He softly grazed my cheek and pulled my lips to his. I could never forget that kiss. It took my breath away.

"We'll finish this when I come back. I love you." I could tell he was trying to talk as little as possible. I had yet to see him cry. I thought today was the day, however he held his composure. I whispered a quiet 'bye' and we let go.

That was it for two months. As much as I want to, I can't cry the whole time. I've got to keep going on with my life. He'll come back soon enough... but how will I be able to handle life by myself until then?

Tiffany and I climbed into her car and headed home in silence.

*****

When we got home, I helped her take her bags up to my apartment. She'd been here only a few times before. Kenn was home and so was Gabe.

We settled into my room and sat on my bed.

"It's gonna get boring you know, here alone." I believe this 100%.

"I know. Well... there's always the Starbucks down the road. Plus your roommates will keep us on our toes." She chuckles like it's a joke. I chuckle because she called my brother and guys who are like my brothers my 'roommates'.

"We can't just drink coffee and lay here for the next two months." Do I believe this? Not one bit.

"Oh my gosh, do you remember what we talked about in the 5th grade?" She put her head on her hand.

"Uh, I barely remember what I ate for breakfast," I do. It was nothing.

"When we said we were gonna work at together. We'd tear that place up."

I sighed, "Simpler times."

"I'm kind of hungry. You have any food?" She points to her stomach and I lead her to the kitchen. When we were younger, we'd always eat Twizzlers and Pringles while hanging at the park.

A very excited Tiffany runs across the kitchen only to be knocked on her butt.

"Hey do you know where the... what the hell are you guys doing? I just mopped in here," Gabe says and that sent us into a fit of laughter.

"Well thanks for telling us." She stands up and grabs her food of choice and we find our way over to the couch.

"Okay, so what's going to be our first comedy? Malibu's Most Wanted or Identity Thief?"

"Hmm. Both are good but let's start with the first choice," I could never get tired of that movie.

We watched movies for the rest of the day. She fell asleep after the first thirty minutes. I however was left to think about how Harry was doing or feeling. I tossed and turned for as long as I remember.

*****

I woke up to a loud ringing. I rolled over and Tiffany was waking up to her alarm blaring. How do people use those things on weekends?

"Morning." I mumble and rubbed my eyes.

"Morning. We're going to do something fun today. No thinking about boys." How is she so chirpy in the mornings?

"Go get ready," she practically jumps up and sprints to get to her bag in my room.

She beat me to the bathroom so I had to wait for her. She came out in a short flowery dress, with tan sandals. She also had her tan clutch.

"What do you think?"

"That's really stunning Tiff." I don't know a whole lot about fashion. I usually wear the same three shirts with leggings.

"Thanks. Your turn." I really don't know what to wear. I guess something nicer since she went all out.

I pick out my black and white striped sweater and black tights with my black flats. I also brought my black purse that hangs on your hip.

"That's so pretty! Now let's do some make up."

I regret letting her come near me with a brush. In the end she had some eye shadow, mascara, blush and some coral lips. She looked like she was trying really hard.

I ended up with just nude everything, but it looked good, and mascara with pale pink lips. She tried to put my hair into a braid, but if I'm wearing lipstick, my hair is staying down.

She was satisfied with our appearances and said we could leave now. At least someone likes how I look.

We had Gabe drop us off at Starbucks, so we wouldn't have to risk walking. We strolled in and got coffee and raspberry swirl bread. I was hesitant, but then again, I could hear my stomach growling.

"Hey, don't you think we should tell Niall and Harry we're out?" I didn't want to worry him, but I also wanted him to know where I was.

"Nah I'm sure they'll be fine with it. They have to focus on the auditions right?" She had a point.

"Right. I'm gonna call him just really quick. Maybe leave a voice mail. I'll be back." She nodded and I walked out the door.

After a few rings, I hear his raspy voice "Hey baby,"

"Hey how's it going there?"

"Pretty good. I miss your sweet face though." Those words made me feel so relieved.

"I'm missing you too. I'll watch it live tonight though." I heard yelling and someone calling him over.

"Well I have to go now babe. I'll call you when I can. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." Calling him almost makes me feel worse. It's like I know he's right there, but I can't have him.

*****