Batman x Reader

Jokes on You

A/N: I found a bunch of joker pics that I wanted to show so here they are:

Your P.O.V
You woke up to your head pounding and your assistant shaking you.  "Y/N!  Ms. Y/N!  Please get up!"  Her voice made your headache even worse.  You lifted up your hand and waved it around, signaling for her to stop.  Sitting up, with the help of your assistant, you leaned against the wall and looked around.  It was morning and the light was entering the window of your kitchen.  Your nana stood behind her, tears in her eyes and hand over her mouth.  "Oh child what happened!?"
You accepted a glass of water from your assistant as you ran over the events of the previous night.  You couldn't let them know.  This was you're problem, something you planned to deal with yourself.  Besides, what is word got out?  "Uh... I hit my head... On the back of the counter?"  Your Nana ran up to you and helped you stand up.  "I'm fine... Really."  You touched the back of your head and flinched.  "AHH!"
Your Nana gently turned you around and looked at your head.  "Oh my goodness!  You need a doctor!"  You shook your head stubbornly.  "No no, I'm fine."  You broke from her grip and leaned on the counter.  I just need to lie down for a bit.  You drunkly made your way over to the doorway.  "Nana can you please clean up the mess?"  You watched her nod then turned to your assistant.  "Can you cancel all my meetings today?  Tell them I'm sick and very weak."  You said.  As she walked away, you added another comment.  "And make sure to tell them that I'm WEAK AND SICK.  You can't stress it enough... But don't overdo it!"  She turned and walked up to you.  "Ms. Dehai! I can handle this."
    You smiled weakly and left them to it. You stumbled up the stairs and into your room. Opening the door, you walked in and closed the door, collapsing by its frame. You moaned and rubbed your head. It felt huge and hurt like hell. "Oh my god I'm sooooooo sleeping for a millennia." You mumbled to yourself. You began to take off your day clothes and change into some comfy PJs when a small slip of paper slipped out of your pocket. Tilting your head you opened the crinkled thing and read. It was covered in very bad drawings of smiley faces and guns and the writing itself was poorly done but this is what you could read;
    Heya Y/N!
        Remember our little chat? I hope Harley left some brains in there! I must say, you are probably feeling a bit joked out so here's a riddle.  What's Red and Dead all over?  --- answer--- You!  If you don't provide me with the little toys your father gave me during his wonderful life.  Hope we can reach an agreement!
~ <3 Mr. J
You held up the letter, hands shaking.  Under the signature was coordinates and a date, a week from now.  You were terrified but you couldn't let the Joker know that.  Now that you thought about it, you couldn't let anyone know.  Once you were you would make sure screws like him stayed in their cells.  Your eyes narrowed with determination as you mentally prepared and physically healed for the coming week.

~TIME SKIP~
"Y/N, Y/N, Yyyyyyyy/N!" The Joker said holding open his arms as you exited your car. "Let's just get this over with you phyco." You said angrily.  You reached into you pocket and withdrew a crumpled piece of paper.  "Here's your letter back.  Your answer is inside."  The Joker grinned and caught the paper as you threw it at him.  He unwrapped him and the grin turned into a grinch-like horror frown. 
"Well the jokes on you Joker." You said.  "I'm not going to work with you in you stupid charades."  His growl folded back into a smile as he laughed unstably.  "Oh You are one to talk!"  He said between breaths.  You glanced at the answer you had written in red pen.  'NO' it read.  You were beginning to think it might of been a bad idea but it was too late now to back out now.
He pointed at you while looking at Harley who seemed way to ready to hit you with the baseball bat again.  You took a deep breath and took a step back, preparing to leave.  "Not.. So... Fast..."   Joker said, laughing ceasing quickly.  He continued to smile as he touched your face.  "This is your last chance to turn back."  Your lip quivered but you remained silent.  "No?"  He asked, tilting his head.
You felt his hand relapse their tight grip on your skull and you quickly walked towards your car.  Harley stepped forth to go attack you but Joker stuck out his arm, stopping her in her tracks.  "Not yet Harley."  He said.  You got into your car and drove off.  Harley opened her mouth to speak but Joker interrupted her.  "Good things always come,". He looked at her smiling.  "To those who wait."

A/N: Ok so I think I did an ok job on the Joker.  Suicide squad had gotton me all pumped up!  Can't write anymore tonight but will continue to work on my Deadpool and one-shot books soon.  If you guys have any one-shot requests feel free to tell!  Stay healthy and happy!  (Or ya know as happy as you can if your in school)
~ <3 <3 ApocalypseRaccoon (fear the IRS)