To Be A Career (A Very Clove Story)

Chapter 20- To Be Frustrated

We eat some of the waterbird, which is still nameless.

"What is this thing even called?" Cato asks me.

"Am I supposed to know? All I know is that it's decent tasting, hasn't killed us, and we're eating it," I rattle off.

"I thought since you killed it, you'd know. How did you know it wasn't going to kill us, anyway?" he prys.

"You really want to know?" I ask him.

"Kind of, yeah."

I guess I'll start with when I ran away. "Remember the morning a few days before Glimmer died, the morning we found out about her and Marvel?" I begin.

"Yeah..." he states, clearly confused.

"Glimmer came over to you, and started flirting with you. I was sitting right there, and we were talking. I assumed you wanted me to go. So I left. You didn't really notice, and I just kind of went out by myself. But I didn't bring any food with me, so I had to eat something. I found the bird, and I killed it. If it was poisonous, it would have killed me by now. That's how I know," I admit.

"Oh. If it helps, I was actually kind of annoyed with her, because she was being clingy. I wished you would have stayed," he admits. I smile, and I try not to show it.

"Really?" I ask. I doubt it.

"Really. I don't think I loved her, I think it was always someone else."

"And who is it?" I pry. If he says "You" I think my life will be complete. But with my luck, it's Fish Face.

"You'll find out!"

"Really? You're about to confess your love to a mystery girl, and then you tell me that I'll find out? Sadist," I complain. I hope it's me, but it could be Katniss for all I know. I hope it isn't Katniss. That would suck.

I pick at what's left at my food. Thinking that he could be in love with someone makes me ill. It could be me, but it probably isn't. It could be Fish Face, but I doubt it. He's probably just messing with me. But then I'd kill him. And then kill myself in despair. And then I'd kill him in the afterlife. Because I'm awesome enough to pull off killing the dead.

"Is it Fish Face?" I ask him.

"No!" he replies.

"Katniss?" I ask him again.

"No way in hell."

We go to the lake to get water, and I guess all the tributes I can think of. He denies all of them.

As we gather some food, I guess all the girls from District Two.

"Karma?" I ask.

"Close, very close."

"Maria?" I say, giving him the name of Karma's best friend.

"No, but you're still close," he tells me.

"Wisty?" I question, naming her sister in the year below us.

"Nope."

"Okay, I've guessed every girl I can think of. I've guessed all the tributes, all the girls back home, even a few of the girls you meet in the Capitol. Unless she doesn't exist, I don't know her! So can you please tell me?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I really want to know."

"I'll tell you during the anthem," he says. The sun is sadly still up, and the anthem is very far away. Which sucks.

We go back to camp, and eat what we gathered. I'm not talking, still trying to figure it out. Maybe I forgot someone, or maybe I already said it, and he just wants me to wait. Which is evil. But not unlike Cato.

"You're awfully quiet, Clove," he observes.

"I'm trying to figure out who it is. And thinking takes time, Kitty Cat," I say.

"I'll let you think. What have you come up with so far?" he questions me, sounding curious.

"I think that I already named the person, but you're enjoying my suffering, so you're making me wait!" I tell him.

"Just keep thinking that, Clover," he tells me. I frown, and he grins.

"Oh, shut up."

"Never!"

"I give up," I say, flopping down on the ground for dramatic measure.

"Good to know," he states bluntly as he eats. Forget kind of picky, I'm not hungry at all. I feel ill, because the sun is dropping slowly. Sure, I want to know who this chick is, but it's not going to be me, so I'll be disappointed.

Cato is talking to himself, which is kind of strange.

"Are you talking to yourself?" I ask him.

"What- No!" he exclaims.

"That's all the proof I need right there," I say.

"How is that proof?" he asks.

"Denial. I know it, and I lived it."

"You don't seem like the denial type."

"Well, not really. But some secrets you have to keep. And other ones you should tell people," I tell him.

"Like the mystery of who this person is?" he asks.

"Especially that one. Because it's mean to tease people with information," I remind him.

He chuckles. "I'm mean!" he says, laughing as he puts his arm casually over my shoulder. Thank God I decided to get off of the ground.

"Yes, you are."

"I know."

"But then again, so am I!" I remember.

"You're a hell of a lot nicer than Glimmer. And me," he insists.

"You always have something good to say about me, it's refreshing," I admit. It is.

"Well, there are a lot of good things about you." He shrugs.

"I'm glad you like me so much," I say. Well, I am being honest. Unless he's lying to me. Then I'd probably want to hurt him.

The anthem starts. No deaths today. It ends almost as quickly as it starts.

"Okay, the anthem is over. Now, who is this girl?" I ask, the anticipation nearly killing me.

"You really want to know?" he questions.

"YES!" I exclaim.

He moves closer to me, really close. He takes my hands in his hands, and I look at him.

"You," he whispers. He leans in, and so do I. And he kisses me.